Feeling overwhelmed... too much to think about!

[PregnantAndEngaged]

Hi guys,

Just posting in the hope someone can give me some words of wisdom as I'm feeling really overwhelmed and worried at the moment :(

I fell pregnant accidentally but I've decided to keep the baby, I'm coming up 5 weeks pregnant so I realise it is still early days. I'm mid-20s, I'm engaged and have been with my fiancé for 3 years. We've lived together for 2 years.

Currently:

• We live in a small 1 bedroom rented flat
• We live miles away from family. We live down in Sussex but his parents live in Hertfordshire and mine live in Hampshire.
• We have been thinking about buying our own place, maybe through the help to buy scheme or something, but I'm overwhelmed by the idea of moving because I love our little flat, I love living where we do, it's ideal location for work and we're near the beach etc. However it simply isn't ideal for being near family when the baby is born and is not big enough at all for a baby. Also concerned about when we can move - can't really move now as I'm studying but don't want to leave it unitl I am heavily pregnant. Also we have jobs down here.
• I work only part-time so I'm concerned a bit about money although I am trying to increase my hours so trying not to focus my brain on this too much.
• I can't drive (my fiancé can) however I have been learning to drive, although I'm scared about continuing to drive now in case I harm the baby e.g. doing emergency stops. However my fiancé keeps saying it will be a great help if I can drive once the baby is here. Plus I feel I should be saving my money towards the baby now, not spending hundreds on driving lessons and the test.
• I'm doing my masters degree at the moment, by the time I finish I will be 6 months pregnant. I'm concerned that pregnancy will impact my studies, my exams (I still have 7 to go), and today I am so worried about it all I can't focus.
• I have to travel for university as it is in Surrey, so I travel by train and because my course is very intense I hvae to take a lot of books, folders etc which I bring with me in a pull-along suitcase. However the day before I took my pregnancy test, I found I was really tired pulling my case along and it caused increased uterus cramping (which I have been suffering from sicne I became pregnant), therefore I am concerned this will harm my baby as well!!

So many things to worry... my brain just can't process it all. And on top of that I have to be eating healthily, avoiding stress, trying to be the mature level-headed grown-up I now need to be, and we haven't told anyone yet because it is early days and we want to wait until the scan but that is ages away!! I am so worried I need to talk to someone about it :(

Firstly - congratulations.

Secondly, there's no reason you have to move right now. Babies are small and you can cope for a bit until you're settled and then start looking if you need to.

Definitely keep learning to drive, you will not hurt the baby at all - they are well padded in fluid and placenta and your stomach muscles. It will be a godsend to be able to drive once they have arrived.

Congratulations OP! Firstly, take a deep breath! If you are 5 weeks you must have only known for a week or so? It takes a while to get your head around the fact that you are pregnant. You have a fair bit on your plate, but you've got months to sort out some of it.

For now, I would concentrate on the masters and the driving. Both will help you in the long term, and both will be more difficult to achieve once the baby arrives. While not essential, driving will make your life easier when the baby arrives.

I agree with pippinleaf that moving is not necessarily a priority now - babies take up very little space when they are still in a Moses basket/cot. Presumably staying where you are will save money compared to renting a bigger place? With so much else going on I'd put off buying for now, it's an extra level of stress and renting would give you more flexibility on area etc if you want to move nearer parents or jobs once baby is here.