Dare I even utter these words? 26, fertile... jealous.

[IzziBee]

Hi,

I'm a VERY broody 26 year old who has no idea what to do with her feelings! I've come on here in the hope that SOMEONE out there has or has had similar feelings. I'm in a secure, long-term relationship and my partner does want children, but lately I've found my broody feelings to be really overwhelming.

A lady who I work with is pregnant with her second child and I'm finding it really hard to be around her. Please don't get me wrong, I am so happy for her and I know her journey hasn't been easy, but I find myself getting so tearful and envious of her life. She already has one beautiful daughter, juggles working full time with caring for a ton of animals and is outstanding in her job. I know that I shouldn't compare my life to that of someone else and that social media has a big part to play in how we edit our lives etc, but these feelings have been around ever since she revealed her pregnancy. I find myself staring at her ever-expanding tummy, completely sick to the stomach with worry that I will never experience that.

At work, there's a large number of mums (all of a similar age and who had children very close together) and sometimes I feel like I can't contribute anything to the lunchtime discussions which centre around pregnancy/babies.

I have two young goddaughters that I'm really close to, who give me a very good idea of the demands of parenting, but I'm scared that it'll never happen to me.

I am very aware that what I'm saying could completely be interpreted as bitchiness, but I want to reiterate that that is not how I'm intending to come across. It's such a confusing mix of emotions- happiness yet jealousy at the same time.

Any help or similar experiences would be so gratefully received.

Thank you so much.

Sorry if I missed it but what is stopping you from TTC now?

We don't live together at the moment. We've both had 'the talk' and living together will be an option in the near future, along with marriage etc (I'm really traditional).

I very much understand! I'm 25, and insanely broody, DH (25) is the same, and seeing pregnant friends makes me cry! Three of my best friends are planning TTC in the next year, I'm not going to enjoy it, while being thrilled for them.

We can't try yet, no house and in the wrong place at work etc - our justification to ourselves is we sort our life out and then can afford more children! If we did it now, we would only just be able to afford two, we want 4.

I just think, it will be worth it in the end and I will probably look back on this time wistfully when i have a non-sleeping baby and coldy toddler!

It's so good to hear that other people feel the same way. I've been beating myself up about these emotions for so long, yet can't confide in people at work because it's cliquey.

All I can think about is how blessed she is and how left out I feel. I think that's the main problem: I feel left out. Not that that is a good reason at ALL to bring new life into the world, feeling like you just want to fit in. I'm so aware that my situation at the moment is wrong... I guess I'm impatient.

I guess the answer is to realise how good our lives are at the moment and how much freedom we have etc? It's hard though...

Just wanted to add,enjoy your life and make the most of it how it is at the moment. Your certainly not bitchy for wanting a baby and feeling how you do when seeing pregnant women.
Your time will come and I think you will make a lovely mummy as it's what you really want with all your heart. Good luck girlie with your future but enjoy your freedom now aswell. I love my dc they are my life but sometimes would like to have a wee on my own. You will know what I mean one day x

Why do you think it will not happen for you? Do you think you may not be fertile, or do you think your current relationship will not last and worry about finding another? Do you wish your bf was ready to at least live together? 26 is not young to feel broody but it is quite young to feel it won't happen for you if there is no indication that it wouldn't.

I was totally into the idea of having a baby at 19. With hindsight, I wish I had.

She probably envies you in some ways, able to go out at the drop of a hat. Going home to a tidy home, no baby sick on your shoulder. There are definite benefits to being childfree. I don't mean to sound patronising but enjoy your life now because once you have children you will never get this time again.

Thanks ever so much for all the replies. The last week or two has been easier, but the feelings still come in waves. I think I'm also a little jealous that my boyfriend will love this new baby and I find myself worrying what if he didn't love ours the same way. Stupid stupid stupid, I know.

I feel totally the same! I'm 25, DP is 26. I've been broody since I was 21 and in a different relationship.

We can't TTC either since we know we are too young. The only friends I have which have gotten pregnant are all teachers! I work in a 'professional' environment and it's just not possible yet. I'm not senior enough to be able to afford the time off and then the childcare to go back to my job.

So I coo over every baby/pregnant woman in the office!

I think about this thread sometimes. I wonder if the OP starting TTC or not. I'm still waiting, specially since DP is still not a DH and has said he is not ready.

I wish there was a pill which made all the broody feelings go away.