Teacher calling DD a freak and a muppet

[GreenMouse]

My DD 13 who is in year 9, came home today and told me that one of her teachers called her a freak (twice) and a muppet during a quite informal exchange during class. She says he was joking and although she doesn't seem very upset about it, she thinks it was mean of him to say that. It's her favourite subject and a teacher she really likes.

I think that it's unacceptable for a teacher to speak to a pupil like that and I want to make sure it doesn't happen again, but I'm not sure how to go about it. Should I approach the teacher in question, or the head of year? Email, phone, or face to face?

Am I overreacting? What would you do? I'd really appreciate other people's opinion :)

Well then, I agree that makes a difference! What another child could shrug off as a teacher being 'weird' may affect her more deeply or stay in her mind.

I also think that you can use it as a lesson to her that it's OK to stand up and say 'I don't like what you said' rather than just tamp it down inside and using self-harm to release the hurt.

I personally feel it is very inappropriate for a teacher to speak to a pupil like that, especially one aged 13.

Shockers advice is very good. If you're sure she will say what you tell her too it's a very tactful and yet impactful way of letting him know you know. Should be enough to make him buck his ideas up you would hope.

I had this at school myself actually from a teacher, but didn't mind as it was meant as a kind of compliment to two members of the class who'd scored far higher than anyone else in a test. I was deemed the freak, and my friend super freak. It was done in a light hearted way so nobody minded. I can see why this is a different context but I'm sure the teacher wouldn't have meant to offend.

I would have been mortified if my DM had ever emailed a teacher in case it created an atmosphere for the rest of my time in their class.

I did email the teacher in the end, with my dd's agreement, she wasn't keen but I think deep down she was relieved that I did. She had been quite upset although putting on a brave front.

My email wasn't angry, I didn't demand an apology, I made sure he knew I understood he hadn't meant to offend, I just reminded him to tread sensitively when it comes to dealing with teenagers. He replied with an apology and also apologised to dd.

So all's well for now, hopefully he'll be a bit more thoughtful in future.

Thanks all for your input, it's been really helpful :)

Ace. :)

I'd have no issue with muppet as it is used affectionately and in replace of " a bit daft" in our house.

Freak sounds a lot worse, and when the context has been described it didn't sound any more pleasant.

agree its all about context. Can be said in the MOST affectionate way. coughs

I am glad you got and DD got an apology and not a defensive retort.

Like many PP, I wouldn't have an issue with "muppet" - in fact I am pretty sure DS's favourite teacher uses that one on occasion - but "freak" is not on, however nicely meant.

I would call my students muppets! I usually use noodle, muppet, silly muffin.....

Can't imagine anything less offensive

Freak is a bit dodgier but it's still perfectly possible to say it in a non offensive jokey way.

Although now I've RTFT the context you describe is not acceptable.