I'm a confused single father in a relationship, living with my partner, undoing some difficult discussions. I've been divorced for five years and have two children, ages 7 and 12. I have shared care and they stay with me and my partner three nights a week. I've been with my partner for three and half years, living together for two. I pay my ex wife 150 a month, I pay half towards school clothes, buy them clothes, pay for my DDs lunches, pay for school trips, pay for clubs, take them away three times a year. Last week my ex asked for more money. She lives with her partner and has done since we parted ways. I work full time from home, she works part time. Her partner works full time. I looked at the CSA calculator which said I should be paying in the region of 230 a month and was prepared to negotiate. However my partner felt the request for more was unreasonable given the extras I provide and the amount of time I have the children. It has led to a great deal of friction. My partner doesn't have children of her own and finds being a step parent hard at times. historically there have been many flash points between my ex and I since I began seeing someone else and carved out a new life. The kids are well looked after. I am now awaiting some form of legal letter detailing what the ex thinks I should pay. Part of me would rather pay a bit more a month and not have the aggregation but my partner insists I should make a stand, 'grow some', stop feeling guilty about having a life away from my children and send a solicitors letter to the ex requesting she stop harassing us. She's threatened that if I don't she'll leave and often reminds me how my past impacts negatively on her. I'm at a loss to know what to do. The ex has been very unreasonable in the past, when we first divorced it was amicable and I did everything to try and lessen the damage to the children but as I've tried to move on with my life these issues keep cropping up and hijacking my new life. Apologies for the long message but I really am at a loss and don't have many people to turn too for advice.