Should I stay or should I go?

[superstarheartbreaker]

I live in the same market town where I grew up. I moved away to do uni but came back when I got up the duff.
It is really lovely but dull and sometimes I miss urban life a lot ( I lived in Liverpool. ) I have drawn up a list of pros and cons of moving to the nearest city, Bristol.

Arguments for staying in my home town:

• it is lovely and quaint. My dad is here and he helps with childcare. My friends live here. My cm is here. Low crime rate. Good schools. I feel " safe" here. If I move I'm worried I won't be able to build up my social network. Dd loves it here, she's settled here and loves her friends.

Arguments for moving to city:

• I am bored here.
• everyone knows everyone's business. *Not many employment opportunities.
• backwater.
• there are lots of triggers from my past eg: abusive ex shit. Everyone knows everyone else's stuff. More going on in the city.

Well, worst case you could always move back again if the 'big smoke' didn't work out?

To me, the biggest challenge to moving would be if DD would be very unhappy doing so - it might be though if you 'sell' it correctly she'll also want to move to the city.

I feel for you, I live in that place (or somewhere very near).

I have days where we're definitely moving away and days where I can't uproot dc. It's such a hard decision.

I then think we'll move when dc have finished school but we'll be ancient by then. I'm hoping dc will be as bored as I am at some point and want to move away.

How old is your dc? I think that might have a bearing. If under 7, I'd go for it.

She's 6. But it's scary! Plus I'm a single mum so no obvious support.

Why under 7?

Also there's part of me that knows that I stand a better chance of meeting a nice bloke in the city!

The age thing is that when mine got to 8 they were all in little groups at school and it's really hard for new people to break into them. Whereas a bit younger they're a bit more of a mixed up throng and new people just mingle in. My eldest is adamant she's not moving anywhere now which makes it so hard to make the decision.

I think if I were you I'd look at whether I was near enough to get occasional help with babysitting (otherwise you might meet a man but never be able to go out). And also near enough to keep in touch with friends, because it can take ages to make new ones. It would be hard with no support at all.

Would it be a better option to get a job in the city? You'd be there to do more things, meet more people but you'd have the support at home. It's hard to tell without knowing how far away you are and what the transport's like.

I'm only about 40 minutes away with a regular bus service and I do have a car. I've been thinking about the working in the city thing plus going up there at the wknd.

I totally get your dilemma but I would tend to stay near family and friends if you can. Commute to work. A lot to be said for a good dad and good friends.

Yes you could get a job there and see how you like it. Rather than moving away from your support and uprooting your dd. It's not much fun if you can't get out on your own/with friends from time to time.

If you get a job there, you could perhaps go out after work and meet new people. You've still got your dad and your friends then, just opening up a new range of things/people.