I'll try to summarise - dsis is approaching retirement age, her dh is well over retirement age (my point is they should have got the hang of money by now)
They are moving house (down-sizing to release some equity) and have now realised they are short of cash. They have already asked df for £2.5k which I didn't know about. And have now asked for a further £4k. Df is 80, and only on a state pension. He has some savings, so could afford it, but lives in sheltered council flats, spends very little on himself - that's why he has savings. He has told me about it today, isn't very happy and isn't sure if he's being "taken for a mug". The total would be about 30% of his total savings.
Dsis always fits out her houses (she has moved a lot) very nicely, buys a new car every 2 years, has foreign holidays etc. She did not come to visit df for his 80th birthday as she couldn't afford it (she is in Europe) but shortly after, bought a pedigree puppet. Df has just recovered from cancer, during which she hasn't been to visit at all, despite anguished contact at the start about which airport she should try to fly to if needed. Df has all his marbles, is financially astute, but I can tell he feels torn as to what to do when it doesn't sit easily with him. (All through her marriage she has asked for "top-ups" from df (and dm when they were together). Her own dh hasn't worked for 25 years though he has a pension.)
I've tried not to colour df's choices as in the end it's up to him. But as usual when she asks for cash, I am now at home fuming at her cheek/inability to manage money at her age.
My wwyd is that as I am tired of playing the naive little sis, do I call her out on her treatment of df? Or do I carry on with saying nothing, as in the past? I'm nearly 50 myself and sometimes think I get a bit tired of being too nice and hiding my feelings 