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About this friend who might want more?

8 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 11/07/2014 23:54

When I was young there was a "boy" who loved me. He would genuinely have walked to the ends of the earth over hot coals for me (by young I mean I was 16 - 21 he was 15 - 20) He threatened to "take out" dd1's father for me (I declined) despite the fact that dd1's father would literally have used him as a mop and well he knew it.

Since establishing on FB that I am now single he is back in touch and has let me know that he is single and living near by. He will help me with diet and exercise, if I need him to (he is now a body builder) he also let me know what a big a big dick he has (I realise I am making him sound like a thoroughly nasty man, but he is genuinely lovely)

My mum and my sister would like to catch up in rl with him again and tbh, so would I. He was irreplaceable as a friend but I think he wants more. Would inviting him to meet up not be giving him false hope? I am not adverse to more, per say, if there was chemistry there this time, which last time there was not, however I don't want to be the one who just settles with him because it would be so easy to do.

He is such a nice man. He deserves so much more than someone who is with him purely because he is such a nice a man (and as such easy to take advantage of iyswim?) But otoh I do really miss him and would love to see him again.

OP posts:
TakeMeUpTheNorthMountain · 12/07/2014 00:09

You were right the first time. Nasty mam. Stay clear.

Preciousbane · 12/07/2014 00:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

D0oinMeCleanin · 12/07/2014 00:17

No, he really really isn't.

I sort of put all his "bad points" down in the OP, not sure why, he did really, in a round about kind of way, remind me of his "big dick", but other than that, he is a genuinely, if a little immature, great bloke.

OP posts:
PenelopeGarciasCrazyHair · 12/07/2014 00:25

You're allowed to meet him for a chat and a drink without owing him anything, so don't worry about the false hope thing.

You won't know if you feel anything more than fondness unless you see him in person so suggest that he keeps his big dick well and truly in his pants and meets you for a friendly chat or even a workout (nothing less likely to induce sex than getting all red faced and sweaty doing something else instead!)

If you hit it off, great. If not, you don't need to explain yourself or apologise, you are allowed to meet a man and spend time with him without owing him sex or a relationship.

D0oinMeCleanin · 12/07/2014 00:28

Oh I know I need to be single. For at least a few years, which is why I am asking. This man, from my experience, would wait a few years, but is inviting him back into my life giving him hope of more? I do miss him as a friend.

OP posts:
TheSkiingGardener · 12/07/2014 00:31

You are not responsible for him. Be honest, tell him you are not dating at the moment and would like to meet as friends. Do not take responsibility for his hopes.

winkywinkola · 12/07/2014 00:37

He sounds not nice. Avoid.

D0oinMeCleanin · 12/07/2014 00:42

Oh dear. I am either a really bad judge of character or I've portrayed him all wrong, because, in my eyes, whilst he is not for me (going on past references that is possibly not a bad thing) as hot as the burning sun, he is a lovely, lovely bloke, who will make some lady very happy just not me

OP posts:
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