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Not sure what to do about dad (kind of long sorry)

2 replies

LimeGreenBean · 11/06/2014 18:36

Hi everyone, first time posting on MN so please bear with me, I'll try to keep it short.

Around 10 years ago, I had a massive falling out with my dad over his behaviour. Due to this I also lost contact with my grandparents and sister. Losing contact with them was incredibly difficult and really affected my mental health resulting in me being hospitalised a few times.

I have been with my DP for 4 years now and in a very happy relationship (I promise this is going somewhere!)

Last year, my grandparents got back in touch with me. Of course I was overjoyed but didn't know how to feel about seeing my dad again. Things were going well at the beginning and I almost forgot why we stopped talking in the first place. Then he met DP and took an immediate unreasonable dislike to him, showing up drunk at my house and telling him he wasn't good enough for me, he is a wuss, trying to start a fistfight with him etc. (More than once)

Amongst other things, my dad feels like he can buy my love. Knowing that I have been struggling with money due to being unable to work with my mental health, he has offered to pay for everything for me and bought me luxury items that, of course I'm grateful for but don't really need. He has zero respect for women and has previous for DV.

My main problem now is that I am 3 months pregnant and should be really happy. But instead I'm dreading his reaction and haven't even told him. He's the kind of person that would think how dare DP do this and I'm scared of what he'll do.

I just really don't know what to do about this. If I cut contact with him I might lose my grandparents again and, to put it bluntly, they're not getting any younger! It's having a detrimental effect on my mental health and I feel sick every time he even texts me

Sorry for the length! Can anybody give me some advice?

OP posts:
Cric · 12/06/2014 07:22

I have no clue really but could you tell your dad and grandparents together? I hope it is easier than you are imagining. And don't let him spoil this special time for you.

LastingLight · 12/06/2014 10:04

Could you talk to your grandparents and tell them that your dad's behaviour causes you lots of stress and you think you should cut contact with him again, but you don't want to lose them too?

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