Hi all,
Apologies if I come across as a bit of a newbie here, but I am a long time reader and a first time poster (please be kind, all help appreciated) - sorry for the long post!
Tonight was my sister in laws hen do, I am sober as I have an 8 month old baby girl and hate to think of not being able to drive if I needed to get to a hospital etc (still paranoid) it was only the 4th time that I have left her for more then an hour, with my husband. I had agreed to drive my mother in law and her sister to this hen do, which was around 50 miles away - I was going to drive myself there anyway and drive home so it was no big deal for me.
My DH and I are currently buying a home together (from renting) so have been saving up where we can. The MIL offered to pay petrol money, and I said no, I was driving anyway so it seemed unfair. However, she offered to pay for my drinks (non-alcoholic) for the evening, I accepted as it was the path of least resistance.
I went to pick up the MIL and her sister at 4pm and found them both plastered, having drunk 2-3 bottles of champagne between them. Her daughter is getting married, so I won't hold it against her. However, I didn't realize until I had gotten on the motorway - but they had another bottle. They popped it in the car and scared the life out of me, almost ending our lives early. They spilled it everywhere (on DD's car seat sigh) and then reached over and proceeded to mop it up with my new silk scarf - right off my neck. Saying "Sorry, I thought it was just a rag"
Deep breathes - they were drunk and they are free to have their fun. I stayed silent as they were loud and continued to drink in the car and lean out the windows proclaiming to everyone that I was driving drunk. I have not had a sip in 5 years and found this embarrassing but that's me being weird.
We get to the venue - and MIL hands me a spring roll. I am a veggie (due to IBS) I asked her if it was a meat roll or a veggie one. She said veggie and handed me a few. I took a bite - its duck. Amazing, now I have an upset stomach.
THAT WAS JUST TO SET THE MOOD of the evening.
The rest of the evening was fine and I had a lovely time and MIL behaved. I decided to go back at 10.30pm as I wanted to get home to my littlie. It was decided weeks ago that I would give them a lift back at that time when the first event ended and the second had begun. All was good to go, until MIL and Auntie in law turned around and said they wanted to go to the other event. At this point we are 50 miles from our home town. I expressed my worry that I was leaving and asked if they were SURE they didn't need a lift home.
They were insistent that they wanted to go clubbing - I just wanted to go home to my family, so after 5-10 minutes of making sure with everyone that they had a place to stay/lifts - I left. Around 45 minutes into my journey (2/3's home) I get a phone call. "Hi, sorry, but the plans fell through, we are outside SIL's house and locked out, they have gone without us and I need a lift home. Where are you?"
I said around 2/3's of the way - but if they needed me, I could turn around. I love MIL (when she is sober) and told her I would turn around at the next M1 junction. She told me not to worry and hung up.
I called DH a few minutes later (All on the car phone/loud speaker) and told him I was coming home. He said his mother had just called him, calling me a b*tch. Basically, I had left her in the middle of nowhere, with no way of getting home and just driven off and left her there.
I got really upset as none of this is true and I was 100% ready to go and pick them up. DH told me to come home as she was being horrible to me on the phone and he said "She got herself into this mess, I am not going to be rude to my mother, but she said some awful things about you and I don't want you going to see her right now."
I got home and she phoned him. I answered the phone. She was friendly at first, but I asked her directly why she had called me those names. She got really quiet. I told her that I would come and pick her up (right now) but could she tell me why she thought that I was so unreasonable. I basically wanted her to admit that she was being rude and bad mouthing me to DH - she hung up on me.
She phoned again, I answered and she said "Put my f-ing son on the phone." I did and all I could hear for the next 10 minutes was, "Good luck with that one. Too bad you have a house and a daughter with a f-ing b*tch"
My DH had no petrol, so I handed him my car keys and told him to go pick her up as I still felt really bad for the auntie who actually wanted to come home but got pulled along by my pushy MIL. I started crying and he almost didn't go, until he got a call from his stepfather, who was confused on how MIL got herself into this mess.
I honestly don't know what to do. My DH hasn't come home yet from picking her up - but I feel so upset. I know she was drunk and things happen, but they say drunken words are honest thoughts. My MIL and I go shopping and have coffee together, she is such a good grandmother (not like my mum, who undermines me at every turn) but I feel so frustrated!!
Do I confront her again? Or do I stay away? I don't want to stop her seeing DD - but I don't think I can be around someone like that until they apologize.