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Do I tackle this?

8 replies

mineofuselessinformation · 28/05/2014 08:38

VERY long story short:
Been divorced four years and couldn't care less what he gets up to now (he's not speaking to me anyway ATM as I put him straight when he started trying to push me around again).
He had affair with AP, left when I threw her out. I asked him to come back after five months, he did. Things still not right, four years later I tell him to leave after he finally admits he doesn't love me anymore. A few months later, I find he's with a woman whose mother he has visited every five weeks whilst 'getting his hair cut' - for the whole day. There's more but mostly not relevant.
So far, so what, you might think....
The thing is, this week I've found that the OW's mother has been spreading rumours - that I was the reason we broke up, as I had an affair. Angry
Even this I could attempt to ignore (I'm a fairly proud person, but for the record I haven't even got back into dating yet as he broke my trust so badly) BUT it was my DF who had this rumour repeated to him - my parents live near OW's mother.
My parents won't tell me exactly what was said, so it can't have been flattering, but I do know my DF ended up saying 'look, that's my daughter you're talking about'.
Beside the obvious (that there's nothing like blaming the other party for hiding your own guilt) I'm bemused as to why there is a need to say anything at all after all this time.
So MN jury, WWYD? Ignore, write a letter, email xh, solicitor's letter (my knee-jerk reaction)...

OP posts:
MelanieCheeks · 28/05/2014 08:46

I can understand your knee-jerk reaction - but really, what good would that do?

I'd try to ignore it.

BuzzardBird · 28/05/2014 08:57

I think it is horrible that your parents had to listen to that and that they probably think all their neighbours are talking about you. Do they know the full truth?
For this reason I would be tempted (dont know if I would) to write and send a solicitor's letter threatening defamation action. But, I can be very 'knee-jerk' when lied about. I tend to confront.

mineofuselessinformation · 28/05/2014 11:42

Buzzard, my parents know all of it (now) - they had no idea how bad things were when it was happening.
Clearly the neighbours THINK they know everything, but are very misinformed.....

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Chocotrekkie · 28/05/2014 11:47

Who is the best connected biggest gossip you know ?

If you know where they will be eg church on Sunday turn up and try to sit close. Take a friend and in her hearing when friend asks if you are ok tell them the whole story.
He has cheated on you twice and now spreading rumours it was you. That bitch of an ow has been in your bed and you can't believe that they are trying to bad mouth you.

mineofuselessinformation · 28/05/2014 13:57

That sounds like a really good idea, Choco - except one thing....
She is a 'pillar of the church' - does the flowers etc.

OP posts:
glenthebattleostrich · 28/05/2014 14:06

In that case I'd ring her priest and discuss it with him. Ask him to speak to her on your behalf as you are still to upset.

Make sure you tell him the full story too.

FourForksAche · 28/05/2014 14:10

I'd ignore, I wouldn't want to get involved or dignify their crap with a response.

mineofuselessinformation · 28/05/2014 21:46

Hmm. I've been thinking about this all week all day and have decided I'll let it go this time, but will go in all guns blazing if it carries on... I vaguely know the church warden and will speak to him if I need to. It's definitely the quickest way to shut her up as she would be horrified if involved the church.
I just hope she doesn't carry on being a poisonous old witch!

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