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Original poster

WWYD about new rescue dog and neighbour?

36 replies

Atbeckandcall · 27/05/2014 23:04

Really need some help from the wisdom of MN anonymous please?!

I live in an old Victorian terraced property. On Saturday we rehomed a little nearly 3 year old dog. He had only ever lived with other dogs previously but due to his previous owners split he had to be rehomed.

Anyway, the dog is lovely, really really lovely.

But he has separation anxiety. At bed time on his first night in our house he barked solidly for 30 minutes. They say to just leave them but I was all too aware if my own dd and neighbours so brought said pooch upstairs and he happily slept in his bed on the floor of our bedroom (and has done since).

The following morning I knocked on neighbours door to see if they had gears and to apologise if they did. The woman did but her dp and dd didn't (their dd is 2.5 years, a year younger than mine). She said that she woke up because she is light sleeper and because her dd has just moved into a bed from a cot they were having night time troubles with her. I assured her we had resolved night time problems.

Today dog was left on his own for the first time. I returned home 3 hours later and as I was walking up the road towards the house I could hear him barking.

I thought "shit" but we'd had a stressful day as my dd had a dr's appointment who just so happened to ask us to take her straight to the local hospital (I think this is relevant btw).

We had just shut the door when the knocker went and the female neighbour was there (we hadn't removed our coats yet). She told us that dog had been barking since we left.

I said I was really sorry, I thanked her for telling me and that I will contact a behaviourist immediately (I work in a vets and have a resident one) to remedy this ASAP, although nothing will happen for a few days because she is on a weeks holiday. I also explained about having to take dd the the hospital (in the hope that she might just leave it for now and let us at least get her coat off and into her pjs). She still wasn't too happy though and said "Before we completed the purchase of this house I asked the previous owners if any neighbours had dogs. They said no. Had they have said yes, I wouldn't have bought the house."

I resisted the temptation to tell her she was ridiculous and instead apologised for the annoyance once again and assured her I will do everything in my power to get the dog settled and quiet ASAP and he certainly won't be making noise in the evenings until he can stop barking in the day.

I also corrected her with regards to the previous owners, they did know of our intention to one day get a dog but whether or not it was hardly relevant.

She then went on to say that she was a very tolerant person but her absolute pet hate was barking and she will NOT tolerate it.

I'm at a loss as to what to do for the best? I can rehome dog but I don't think it's fair, unless it's in the best interest of dog?

Also, do I just ignore the neighbour now. I'm actively putting measures into place to help dog but I don't want the council knocking at my door either. Similarly my dd will be very upset, as will I and DH of course.

Oh God, I feel stuck between the devil and the deep blue Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Atbeckandcall · 27/05/2014 23:07

I am so sorry with how long that was. Well done if you made to the end!

OP posts:
queenofthepirates · 27/05/2014 23:11

Awkward but as long as you plan to get some help, that's the best you can do. On the other hand, a bottle of wine and some chocs to the neighbour will probably go a long way. At the end of the day, there is very little the neighbour can do to stop you having the dog but you are causing a nuisance to her and you need to be fair to everyone. Keep the dog but maybe take it to work with you in the day?

LEMmingaround · 27/05/2014 23:12

Ah, let your neighbour go fuck herself and just do what you need to do to alleviate your dog's separation anxiety. So toys to play with when you leave (kong etc). Slowly build up times you leave (obv isn't always possible!), don't make big fuss of dog when you leave/get back. Take her for a walk before you go out. Those sort of things. Also a DAP diffuser or collar.

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Dogs
TheHoundsBitch · 27/05/2014 23:13

Eek. I don't think you should have left a dog with separation anxiety for the first time for 3 hours! I think you need to work on solving the dogs problem slowly and gently and that will hopefully solve the neighbour problem too.

LEMmingaround · 27/05/2014 23:18

The OP had to take her DD to hospital so i doubt it was a planned absence. Hope your DD is better now

Original poster
Atbeckandcall · 27/05/2014 23:21

He's got the DAP collar and a Kong. Also I don't really interact with him for a little while before I leave and even though he's dinky I don't treat him like a prince.

I know leaving him for that long wasn't great but I really didn't have any choice, as I said dd was told to go the hospital as she may have needed an x-ray. Didn't help that it was in rush hour do getting back to the house etc would have made it worse.

I'm so angry with the neighbour though. She said done really weird/stupid things.

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 27/05/2014 23:23

I think you have been very reasonable with your neighbour.

The dog has been with you for 4 days - that is not long enough for it to settle in and gain confidence.
I'd really hate having a yappy, barky dog live next door too, but a new rescue? With an owner who sounds like she is willing, able and likely to address the issue? I'd give you both a bit of slack.

She's made her point, maybe she'll calm down a bit now?
I think having easy access to a behaviourist is lucky and by all means consult them, but surely the poor mutt needs a bit of time to settle in?? Disclaimer: I've own rescue dogs, but am hardly an expert.

Hope your DD is ok and that you are having a peaceful night.

Original poster
Atbeckandcall · 27/05/2014 23:24

Thanks LEM, she isn't really any better and that will be lots of follow up appointments. I only mentioned it to the woman so she could back off a bit. All she seemed to care about was her own annoyance. I'm sure it was awful, no denying that. But I really do think she over reacted.

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 27/05/2014 23:24

Wrt she wouldn't have bought her house if she had known there are resident dogs around: what a very weird thing to say.
Did she really expect nobody to ever get a dog as long as she lived there? Odd.

CanaryYellow · 27/05/2014 23:25

I think listening to a dog barking persistently for 3 hours solid would have tested the patience of the saintliest person.

And if my neighbours had just got a dog and that happened within a few days of them getting it, I'd be making myself pretty clear that I wouldn't put up with it in the longer term.

You've assured her you're going to sort it, and you've taken steps to do that, so for now that's all you can do.

Original poster
Atbeckandcall · 27/05/2014 23:28

Thank you all so much. DH and I have really considered finding him a new home. TBH that still might happen but only if that's what he needs. I managed to speak to the behaviourist tonight who said he might well need a home with a confident dog in to ease his anxiety. She's given me other tips and techniques too that I'll put into place and see how he copes.

I thought that was a really weird thing to say too. We are looking to move in a year or two anyway (we rent from my parents). Mum has said she'll let to someone with 6 Rotties!

OP posts:
LEMmingaround · 27/05/2014 23:29

Just a thought - when we first moved into our house (many years ago) we got a note from our neighbour saying our dog was barking/howling when we went out in the evenings. He hadn't done this before. We would shut the living room door (so he only had access to kitchen and living room - we had second living room and upstairs) when we went out. When we stopped doing that, the barking/howling stopped.

LEMmingaround · 27/05/2014 23:31

No, not six rotties - dacshunds is the way to go, they bark like crazy!

Original poster
Atbeckandcall · 27/05/2014 23:32

HAHAHAHAHA LEM. Dog is a Daxie!

OP posts:
nancy75 · 27/05/2014 23:36

Our old neighbour had a dachshund that barked from the minute she went out (early in the morning) right through until she got home late in the evening. I love animals but after a few months i fantasised about kidnapping the damn dog and dumping it a very long way from home. Your neighbour has been quick to moan but from experience hours of a dog barking next door is very very annoying

ToAvoidConversation · 27/05/2014 23:36

If I was your neighbour I would hate you. It's horrible to be stuck next door to someone with a barking dog.

You have brought a pet in to your home and it's now disturbing your neighbours, I think you need to sort it out. Why are you taking in a very needy rescue dog if you aren't going to be in with it?

tabulahrasa · 27/05/2014 23:38

Is there anyone who could dog sit until you've had more time to work on the separation anxiety? More for the sake of not upsetting the dog than the neighbour though.

Original poster
Atbeckandcall · 27/05/2014 23:39

Sorry I didn't make it too clear.

I don't work away from the home.

No-one knew he'd have issues as before being with me he was in a house with 3 other dogs. You can't always predict how any animal will handle a change of situation.

I am taking steps to remedy his unacceptable noise making and I made this perfectly clear with 24 hours of him being in my care.

OP posts:
Original poster
Atbeckandcall · 27/05/2014 23:46

Tabulah, there will be someone sometimes. And a lot of the time dog can come with me. But it's things like trips to the supermarket/dr and hospital appointments etc that he'll need to learn to cope on his own.

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Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 28/05/2014 00:09

You'll just have to try and build up gradually. Can you go and sit in the back garden for a few minutes and leave him a bit longer each time? Kong, chewies, etc.

Original poster
Atbeckandcall · 28/05/2014 07:13

I can't go in the garden as it's patio doors and he'll see me.

I've spoken to a behaviourist and she thinks the best thing for him is to live with another dog who is confident and out going so he can feed of that and feel reassured quickly.

The behaviourist has known him since he was a puppy and he was a pupil at her puppy school. She said he was always a very sensitive soul and quite a stressy animal.

None of this was told to me by the previous owners though, just that he has never had any problems with any animals, kids or humans.

He constantly barks at the cat when he sees her and he has started suckling his own leg for comfort. A sign of stress apparently.

Poor little soul, he seems to have had it all rather tough.

OP posts:
Original poster
Atbeckandcall · 28/05/2014 07:58

Pacific, I agree completely with you. Since hearing those words uttered I've decided she is a control freak and it's no wonder her husband works away all week please excuse me whilst I unpick my judgey pants wedgie. Although I'm angry at that moment and will calm down.

What really smarts though is that I know her dd will continue to scream all day and night and I won't say anything.

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Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 28/05/2014 11:02

Oh what a shame. If it's in his best interests though you might have to let him go.

Are you sure you can't cover the patio doors with a blanket, or shut him in another room for ten minutes?

We used to do a bit of this at our obedience classes. Dogs would be left for half a minute while their owner went out of sight, then a minute and so on. It was part of the Kennel Club test so they had to be able to do it.

Original poster
Atbeckandcall · 28/05/2014 11:22

We gave it a go this morning with him in his crate and us getting ready to leave. I gave him a stuffed Kong, put the tv on, walked and fed him.
The first time, he waited 20 seconds before he started barking after we left. We came in and ignored him. We tried again and he started before we got the front door. Tried again as he was beside himself before I left the kitchen.
The behaviourist said that might happen and if it does he really needs to be with another dog to reassure whilst people aren't there.
It's with a very heavy heart that we have to admit defeat.
Poor little bugger, he's like a shadow scared to be left even if I just go to blow my nose.

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 28/05/2014 11:30

I'd probably get a second dog as well.