Work situation - what would you do?

[Angelwoes]

I'm now going back to work soon after mat leave. My ex and I split up for reasons around his drug use and after he hit me (one time) from drug mood swings. We haven't spoken for months and are arguing through solicitors about access. The difficulty is that we work in the same place and I've now been redeployed into his team (no other option).

He's spent a lot of time manipulating the situation to make him look like a victim while trashing me to workmates who now think I am some evil person keeping this "lovely person" away from his child and have used him because I went to the CSA :( I also got "anonymous hate mail" from one of them but I don't know who. Obviously I am outraged about this because he has been awful and what he did . . which drove me to the solicitor . . and I am wondering how to handle this? I can be professional with him and keep my distance, but I am worried about getting the cold shoulder as the newbie because he is very popular and has a very good public face.

Everyone tells me not to let him win . . and I need/like the job. How would you handle this? Tough it out? Tell people what really happened? Keep quiet? (I hate the thought of undeserved negative impressions from keeping quiet :( )

I am so sorry. That sounds horrendous. I think personally I would be looking for another job. I don't like saying that as you shouldn't have to but I don't know if I could work in that environment and remain professional all the time.

Oh also i definitely would not be telling people what really happened. They are not friends they are work colleagues and by telling them your side of the story you are effectively asking them to choose sides. I think it entirely unprofessional of your ex to have done this. If you stay you need to behave impeccably and take the moral high ground. Oh and probably make notes of any discriminatory or inappropriate behaviour ready to take to hr just in case it becomes untenable. I hope it doesn't though.

I know . . basically he has been going around telling people how I am stopping him seeing lo after she was born, went to the CSA and won't talk to him (omitting all the most important points) to gain sympathy for himself :( Very unprofessional, but he could get away with it as our relationship was "In the public eye" so to speak. .

It soundsawful like. Could you change job easily or will it be hard to find something you like elsewhere?

Sorry awful typing! I did not mean to write like at the end of the first sentence. I am not 15.