DS being threatened with suspension from after school care...

[heritagewarrior]

One of my DtSs (5) has been threatened with suspension from his school-run after school club because he has deliberately broken three club toys. I fully agree that this is unacceptable behaviour, but, he has been having lots of behaviour issues since he was about 2.5 and a fortnight ago at a meeting with school and LA SENCOs, it was suggested to us that he may have mild Aspergers, which may well be contributing to his apparent inability to change it.

We very much want him to continue to be able to use ASC, partly, obviously because he and his brother go to it because of my and DHs work commitments, but mostly because he really loves going and his brother would be bereft without him. My dilemma is whether or not I should mention this unconfirmed (medically speaking) Aspergers diagnosis, together with some information we've been given about how to manage his behaviour, or whether I should keep it to myself. I don't want to appear to be excusing the breakages (which we have paid for), I don't want him to be labelled if it's not AS,
nor do I want him to be expelled because he has 'special needs' and they feel he will be too difficult to cope with in the long term (don't know their policy on this and too scared to ask). However, I don't want him to lose his place if we can avoid it by explaining, and I would like to make the ASC experience for him and the staff more pleasant if I can.

WWYD?

Bump

I would definitely explain- even with a non- confirmed diagnosis. That way, staff can alter their responses- theu my well have experience of this. you can also pass on the advice you have been given about how to manage particular behaviour. It is much more likely to work out well if you share information with each other.

Thank you, Spinaroo

I agree with spinroo. It would also be worth talking to the teacher and finding out what works well in school because the techniques they use will be more likely to work as it will be more like a school setting than a home setting.

Also get the SENCO to have a word on your behalf to smooth things over (if they are willing).