I've just shat myself in the street because of ds1's laziness .. Now I'm on the bed crying

[Shinyshoes2]

My ds1 is 17 next month .. Long story short he gave up a fantastic opportunity on a very well paid apprentiship to come home and do fuck all

He wants money .. I don't see why his dad and I should work to fund his stay at home and doss about all day lifestyle.

I've had a dickie belly ... Ok ds1 doesn't know this and I didn't think I had to tell him .. I've just asked him to go get his sister from school .. He refused ... I got her and it was literally 50 yards from the house and I couldn't hold it in no more
.... Cue , me shitting my trousers :-(( ... I've now had a shower and a little cry ... I don't know what to do ... He won't apply himself to get a job and when it suits will do a job for money ... He normally asks if there's anything that needs doing but it's on his terms

Shitting myself is the last resort
I don't know what to do with him

That's awful, poor you but he isn't in control of your bowels! If you'd said you were ill (and contagious perhaps) and about to have explosive diarrhoea he might have fetched his sister without complaining.

I definitely think it would have helped to go TMI on him.

Unless he's willing to contribute financially or in kind (with chores, collecting sister etc) you provide a safe roof over his head and no more.

My DP has just said " well couldn't you have gone to the loo before you left or couldn't you have stopped in the bookies on the way home "
I'm so fucking angry I wanted some support from DP and for DP to agree that ds1 needs to do more not treat me like a 5 year old by telling me I should have gone before I left the house
Ahh the beauty of a dickie belly . Apparently it's controllable and it's my own fault I messed myself

He pretty much took ds1's side as I was yelling and shouting ... Damn right!! I was fucking furious that ds1 was in the same position that I left him in and I'm walking around with shit in my trousers because ds1 is " resting "

I showered and had a cry and couldnt even look ds1 in the face without wanting to smack him one ... Yes I'm afraid to say I was that angry I could have hit him one

His dad wants to take him to the cinema

Well it's fairly clear where DS gets his attitude from isn't it :(

So, now you've hopefully had a chance to think - where do you go from here? Seems like it is time for serious change. I wouldn't focus on today anymore - that's just going to upset you - but he can't keep dossing about without contributing a damn thing.

Like father, like son?

Don't give him any money.
He should be in college not work really. So give him money when he applies to college. Otherwise nothing, not even for doing jobs for you.
You should have told him about your stomach!

I don't think you can blame ds for you shitting yourself.

However he needs a serious kick up the arse. Don't give him any money and make an appiontment for him with a careers advisor. If that fails, kick him out. He needs to learn to stand on his own two feet and realize life is not a bed of roses!

I am 21 now but at the age of 17 I was in school, living independantly in my own flat and working 26 hours a week. There is no excuse for him being a layabout!

There is such a thing as over sharing......just saying.