I have been with my dp for years and he does have a history of being v.v. Reluctant to move house. even to the point of him getting a job 85 miles away from where we lived and getting up at 4am every morning and commuting in. It took him a year before he admitted defeat and agreed to move, which we did.
Knowing this I have discussed with him about moving. Giving him the reasons of why we need to move and I thought agreed to a plan. He knows we cannot go on living like this.
We "own" 2 properties at the moment.
Our home which needs completely renovating, rewiring, new bathroom, new kitchen, another bathroom putting in and walls knocked down and others built, doors moved and completely redecorating. We have lived like this for years because not only does he not like moving house but he also has what I can only describe as a phobia of workmen coming to the house. Consequently this house which we bought prior to having children 15 years ago is not suitable and does not work as a family home. It is quite a small house sitting on a large plot but it does not help that it is the worse designed house I have ever come across. I have taken to getting out the graph paper and redesigning it to make the most of the space.
The second place we "own" is a tiny flat which has been rented out. I have put own in inverted commas because we have sold the flat. Contracts have been exchanged and we gave an 8 week completion to the guy who is buying it. This suited us both as the plan was we sold the flat and the money we would get from it would be a good deposit and doing up money for a small house/larger flat in a more convenient and cheaper location (dd1 has been accepted at a particular school 40 miles away and we need to move to be nearer to where she is starting school in September.) it would also mean that we would be out of the house when the workmen arrive to do the renovation. All of which he agreed to.
I have shown him what we could afford with little or no mortgage if we then sold our renovated house. And he agrees the type of property we could get we could never afford in our current neighbourhood. The move would also cut his commute down from 45 mins to 12mins and the resulting savings of train fares and car parking at the station would be huge. Overall we would end up in a far nicer house than we could ever afford where we live now and be saving money. What is not to like about the plan. He would also cut his commute down from 1 1/2 hour to 28 mins. What is not to like?
Anyway I have started looking at properties we can move into, knowing which day we get our money and I have found one that would be perfect. It is in a complete mess at the moment but I can see through the "shit" literally to see it would be a perfect temporary home for us all.
When I told him about it having seen it online and run down to view it I thought he would be over the moon. Instead he started by giving me criteria of where, even temporarily he would live and where he would not. What type of property he wants and how much he wants to pay.
I know I am good at squirrelling out good deals when it comes to property but I live in the real world. He also started hinting that when the house was renovated we should stay where we are.
Anyway after a huge argument things settled down and he agreed to move if I could come up with a place that, then he gave me a list of criteria. When I pointed out the place I saw ticked all the boxes he just said he was not living there as it was so dreadful. But trying to tell him that it would not be dreadful once it had all been done is falling on deaf ears.
He is also telling me that I need to use the money from the flat to pay off my horrendously large credit card accounts. My CCs are very much under control and the figure he is quoting that he thinks I owe is 10 times the amount I actually owe and that would be paid off anyway when I get the statement.
Sorry it has been so long but there is 30 years of frustration built up in this post. Advice desperately needed because dd starts school in September and dp thinks it will be fine for her to commute 80 miles per day.