To move or not to move? And if so, where?

[katydid2]

My husband and I are expats who have been in London for nearly a decade. Until recently, we never seriously considered buying a house; though our plan was to remain long-term, we never felt settled enough to make such a permanent commitment. Now that we have citizenship and two small children, however, we feel foolish continuing to rent in central London, and I'm beginning to think more about our long-term future as a family. Alas, we have nowhere near enough saved to buy a three-bedroom house in St Johns Wood, where we currently live, or in Belsize Park/Hampstead, where most of the schools we've applied for are located. We could possibly buy in a few years if we buckle down and save more, but in the meantime, we've outgrown our small two-bedroom flat, and it seems silly to spend more to rent a larger flat. Ultimately, I'm tired of the competition for schools and the ridiculous price of housing, and I'm afraid we're being unrealistic to think we can stay put here. Most of those I know in the area are expats here for a few years, or the uber wealthy. That being said, I worry about feeling isolated in a less transient, more 'English' suburb, and frankly I don't even know where to begin looking. Are there any more affordable areas, further out, that would still be within an hour's commute of Canary Wharf, where my husband works, and that has good independent schools for boys and girls? Have other expats moved further out, and if so, have you felt isolated?

Apologies for the delayed response. Thank you for your replies! Actually, we are American. Funny enough, my husband wants the children to attend an American university, but he doesn't want them to attend an American school here. We visited the American school here in SJW, and the facilities are amazing several art studios, a robotics lab, multiple libraries, two indoor gyms but alas, it is far too expensive (upwards of £20K) and too transient. And even our American ears were irritated by the Valley Girl speak we heard in the halls.

Oscar Wilde, I've had exactly the same thought -- whenever I bemoan our lack of a garden or proper space for the children to play, I try to reassure myself that they'll remember trips to the zoo, the parks, the museums, music classes, etc instead of boring afternoons cooped up indoors, squabbling over toys and wailing to watch cartoons, or the piles of clutter because of the lack of storage space.

We decided to visit Golders Green today, as it's adjacent to Hampstead, where we've applied to several schools but far cheaper. I knew it was a largely orthodox Jewish area, but I was curious as to why it's so much less expensive than neighbouring West Hampstead and Hampstead. I really hope I'm not offending anyone, as many of the houses towards Hampstead were lovely, but it was not my cup of tea. Golders Green Road was definitely urban, and I have absolutely no idea what we'd do there at the weekend. Hampstead Heath is nearby, but there were no charming cafes or bookstores or shops that I could see. Bus connections were great, but it was clear that a car would be a necessity, and though we're planning to buy a car, I'd prefer to walk or use public transport whenever possible.

I spent most of the time gritting my teeth as my son asked repeatedly where we were going, why we were there, why it was so quiet, and when we were going home. My husband and I bickered because he claimed I was being too narrow-minded, and unreasonable to suggest that he might consider taking an overground train, or compromising on schools. To avert a melt-down, we spent £25 on two Playmobil sets our son saw in a charity shop window, only to discover that they only had about 40% of the parts needed. The only plus was that my son was thrilled to wee 'in the forest' (i.e. on the edge of the Heath).

We plan to visit Blackheath next weekend -- it sounds as if that expedition will be much more successful!

Bear in kind that if you go for Sevenoaks, they have both good independents, and, more importantly perhaps, grammar schools. The whole of Kent has grammar schools. With two DC and no special loyalty to any part of the Uk, that's where I would be looking. Amersham, or something.

What work do you do? Do you have to work in London? Realistically, it is more practical for only one of you to commute and the other to work locally.

Or if you want a radical idea, move to oxford. Excellent schools, both state and private, very unlikely you would feel isolated or suburban, and your DC can join the herds that commute to the city every day. Only problem, property costs almost as much as London.

DH, even. Cambridge would also be good.

Beastofburden - property costs wouldn't be the only problem in Oxford! Takes an hour on the train just to get to Paddington, then 30mins plus to CW. Not to mention the fact state schools are far from great in the county.

Can I suggest one of these to keep small people entertained on the heath. It would have to be a very hot day before there isn't a nice fresh breeze up there and this is an instant and easy kite.
I'd suggest heading straight to Blackheath on the overground train from Waterloo East/London Bridge on Saturday or Sunday morning. Have a wander around, take an early lunch and then walk across the heath, into Greenwich park and down the hill. You can detour slightly to the right of the museum to the childrens playground or head straight into the museum if the weather is bad or everyone needs afternoon tea after a toddler paced walk or scoot through the park.

Options from there - cross the main road and walk through the university, pop out at the Cutty Sark and jump on the DLR (underground station behind Waterstones) to "drive" the train home via the wharf to wave to Daddy's office, or get a river boat home via Westminster.
Alternatively head out the west side of the park and into Gloucester Circus, walk through the back streets of West Greenwich over to Greenwich train station. You can take mainline train or DLR from there and change onto a tube homewards. For a speedy return home with small tired legs, I'd recommend DLR to Canary Wharf and change there onto the Jubilee line.

There is a farmers market in Blackheath train station car park on a Sunday morning. www.lfm.org.uk/markets/blackheath/
John Payne is an excellent local estate agent, they have a branch in Blackheath village and v close to the train station in Greenwich. If you contact them with an indicative budget they will send you sample recent sales and currently available properties as a basis to see what it buys you locally and to give you an idea of local areas. I'm biased because I have used them twice now and they go the extra mile but I have no other relationship to them
Blackheath Standard - look it up on a map. It is part of Blackheath but actually a separate village almost closer to the A2. Lovely spot (fab toy store there) but no direct link to Canary Wharf. More affordable though and trains from Westcombe park will interchange (two stops) at Greenwich for the DLR. It's close to BH Prep and Pointers prep.
Since private schools are also a priority, it's worth noting their locations so you can see where they are. Blackheath Prep (facing Heath St Germains Place) do visits on school days by appointment and don't seem to do open days. Blackheath High (Weymss Road) have some coming up soon but it's girls only so it depends if you want both your children in the same school. Heath House is split between two locations, a converted church behind JojoMaman and a separate building on Weymss Road. Colfes is in Lee which is the far side of Blackheath entirely. Lovely campus but I don't think you could squeeze in Lee, Blackheath and Greenwich in one day with small children in tow.
If you drive over - watch out for parking wardens. You will get nobbled immediately your permit runs out in Blackheath. They are everywhere!

Any luck?

I think I'd be looking at North kent villages around Bexleyheath ,Dartford etc its an easy commute to Docklands and there are lots of nice schools and the grammar schools at 11+ if you choose the state route . You will also get a lot more for your money .

Any update OP?