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Should I confront DP that I've found this?

86 replies

ThePartyArtist · 07/03/2014 13:32

Today I had to move DP's bedside drawers and underneath it (hidden rather well) was a porn magazine and some train tickets. The first thing I noticed was the magazine and I was a bit unsure of what to make of it. I had a look though and decided although I am not particularly keen on DP having it, it was fairly harmless stuff and I was more surprised than anything, but not overly bothered. I did however think I'd probably let him know I had found it, in a fairly light-hearted way and just have a chat about it (but not be confrontational) as it's the secrecy rather than the item that concerns me.

Then I noticed there are also train tickets for a weekend away to a UK city, for two people. It may be a coincidence but it's a city we like visiting and is our nearest mini break type destination. So I thought perhaps he's booked us a surprise and that I should hide both the tickets and the magazine and pretend I never saw them. However he's told me he's working that Sunday. I texted him to double check and he confirmed this. He'll know from experience that I am likely to arrange to see friends if he's working on a day I'm off - which makes me think he's not planning a weekend away or he'd have told me to keep it free. (Could it be he's double booked himself or thought he'd lost the tickets, so arranged to work instead? Seems a long shot but I can't imagine why he'd book time away if he was working).

So I am rather bemused! I think my options are;

a) replace both items and never mention them.
b) tell him I've found them and ask what the tickets are for.
c) arrange the tickets so it looks like they've slipped out while I was moving the furniture, but I haven't noticed them.

OP posts:
SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 07/03/2014 17:01

Nooooo - you won't know if he's lying to you.

I'm not say he is cheating or not - but people are often certain their partners are not cheating, only to find they are.

One thing for certain - cheating partners become expert liars.

sebsmummy1 · 07/03/2014 17:04

Party, this is your relationship, you must do what you think is right.

If you do admit you moved the furniture and found the mag and tickets, please do it face to face so you can gauge his reaction.

TerribleHumanBeing · 07/03/2014 17:09

I would gush all over him when he gets in about the wonderful surprise and how thrilled you are and what a lovely thing for him to do for you.

Then watch his reaction.

Faverolles · 07/03/2014 17:11

Why not just tell him you've found them and ask what they're for?

lunar1 · 07/03/2014 17:13

I'd follow him on the day if he doesn't mention anything to you. Nobody on these boards thinks their dh is the type to cheat, until they do. I wouldn't give the chance to make something up.

notapizzaeater · 07/03/2014 17:13

Hmmm I think id just ask I'm outright but then we don't know him. I'd be snooping on his phone email just in case ...

Mrswellyboot · 07/03/2014 17:17

I think it is probably a surprise but two weeks is a long time to wait and then be disappointed if it is not. The fact you will book something else and he couldn't take you away is confusing though, I really hope it's genuine Flowers

ajandjjmum · 07/03/2014 17:33

Is there an obvious person you would choose to spend your day off with? If so, could they be in on the surprise with your DH - ie, agree to spend the day with you, knowing that it won't actually happen?

OodlesofOods · 07/03/2014 17:50

^I would gush all over him when he gets in about the wonderful surprise and how thrilled you are and what a lovely thing for him to do for you.

Then watch his reaction.^

This.

Lilly20again · 07/03/2014 17:55

I think he's cheating..sorry.
I would be waiting until said day and following him. Plus going through his phone, Internet and bank statements.

coffetofunction · 07/03/2014 20:06

I asked my DH & he thinks either he's planning a special surprise & is planning to use your friends to put it into action or he's playing away...

Thought you might like a mans opinion on it Wine

whattoWHO · 07/03/2014 20:49

If it were me, I know I wouldn't be able to keep quiet for 2 weeks, so I'd question him about it now.

ThePartyArtist · 07/03/2014 22:16

Thanks all- well I went with my instincts and am happy I did. .. Not only because he confirmed he IS taking me away, but also because I am now saved from his plan to wake me up on the day & tell me the taxi will be here in 15 mins! That would have been a relaxing start to a romantic weekend!
Thanks everyone for helping!

OP posts:
CashmereHoodlum · 07/03/2014 22:21

Glad it was good news. Sorry if I alarmed you.

WeeClype · 07/03/2014 22:25

That's great news Smile

LoveBeingCantThinkOfAName · 08/03/2014 07:42

I think you should ltb anyway, 15 mins to get up and pack ridiculous

sebsmummy1 · 08/03/2014 07:44

Oh god that's GREAT news, bless you for having a lovely bloke and trusting your instincts. Have a lovely weekend away xxxx

nauticant · 08/03/2014 07:54

Great news. But you should still LTB over the grumble mag.

Dillydollydaydream · 08/03/2014 08:26

Ah glad it was ok in the end. Now at least you have more than 15mins to get yourself ready!
15 mins?!

antiabz · 08/03/2014 08:35

Ah good a happy ending Smile

ThePartyArtist · 08/03/2014 10:09

I know it's utterly ridiculous! What's LTB by the way?

OP posts:
kelper · 08/03/2014 10:11

aww, thats lovely! I'm amazed he thought 15 minutes was enough time to get up and pack though!

WipsGlitter · 08/03/2014 10:13

Leave the Bastard.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 08/03/2014 10:16

He thought that you could pack and go in 15 minutes?
HAHAHAHAHA!
lovely thought but oh my god. 15 minutes? shower, get dressed and pack?
Or was he planning on packing for you?

ThePartyArtist · 08/03/2014 10:56

I know , crazy! And he knows I'm the type to make a packing list!

OP posts: