I need advice, 24 month old and just been told her development is not up to scartch

[Jennymarks31]

Yesterday was one of the worst days i have had ever, i got told that my daughter is not where she is suppose to be in development, my worst nightmare , she doesn't speak sentences just 2 to three words she can put some together , she does rub her left ear alot so there sending her for speech therapy and also get her ears checked.

i totally freaked out and i thought they were gonna just take her away from me silly i know but i just had just been told that i failed my daughter that i had not done right well thats what i thought , i felt stupid and embarrassed ,

my daughter goes to nursery 2 days a week do u think her going more would help i only work 3 but 1 on a Sunday the money would be tighter but it might be better for her cause im obviously doing something wrong at home other wise this would not of happened.

any helpful tips on things to do what to do would help thank you.
it also my first time doing this bloggers thing. ta xx

Hi,
Welcome to blogging and sorry about your worry over your daughter. I would speak with her nursery about how you could work together in improving her development. That way you won't feel so alone in the responsibility and they can help you to see the way forward. Being active will definitely show yourself and others that you are doing what you can. A good plan will also give you something positive to think about rather than worry. There are so many stimulating activities!

All the best.

There might be an issue, but 24 months is still quite young. My DS1 only spoke a few words until he was 27 months - and then it all came bubbling out in sentences. He's six now, and talks too much....

Don't panic. Hearing test is a good idea, as is checking out any other possible issues. I don't think you need to send her to nursery more, unless you personally want to.

I expect you do all this already, but talking a lot to her, reading books aloud to her etc. are all very helpful.

How is her understanding? Can she follow instructions (e.g. put the cup on the table, go and fetch your shoes etc.)?

OP I think you are being waaaaay too hard on yourself. There are loads of reasons she might not be hitting her developmental milestones, it doesn't mean you have failed her! If she turns out to have a hearing issue for example, how is that your fault?

It sounds like you are really switched on and prepared to accept professional help to learn what you can do to help your daughter catch up. With some support I'm sure you will do a better job one-to-one with her than her being at nursery - I don't think you should be worrying about affording more nursery care if it's going to be a financial strain. The previous poster's idea of working with nursery is a good one.

Hopefully now your daughter's needs have been picked up you'll get some help and some speech therapy if that's what she needs.

You might want to get this thread moved to Behaviour/Development where more people will see it?

Hi, the real question is "who told you this." I was told by the health visitor at 12 months that my daughter was not developing normally as she couldn't respond to requests such as "can you put this in the bin.". My response was, "actually, I'm a child psychiatrist so I'm pretty well up on my developmental milestones and you are talking out of your backside", (ok I didn't say backside - I probably used the tame words, "you are mistaken" as I am far too polite, but I meant backside). Anyway, always good to check hearing, but two to three word sentences at 24 months is within the normal range, so I wouldn't worry too much unless the person giving you this advice was a specialist and was considering other features of development which you have not mentioned. Always good to keep an eye on development, but don't stress too much unless it was an expert opinion as the normal range is very wide. I blog about simple developmental checks that parents can make at home on my blog shrinkgrowskids.com, although I've just started on attention and memory, but I will get to everything at some stage! If you are worried, seek an expert, medical opinion.

I would add that most health visitors do a fantastic job under difficult circumstances!

Sorry you feel like this.

My son is 25 months and I was told the health visitor were concerned about his communication at his 2 year check up. I told them I had no concerns but they said they'll call me a in a few months and consider sending him for speech therapy.

They only assessed his speech using an American questionnaire based on average development. It asked questions such as does he imitate me if I say 3 words, does he put 2 words together. Pretty much all my answers were no. I explained he wants to talk as he will point to things and tell me what they are, and has good vocabulary. I was not worried about him putting them together (he is doing that now).

Think on the positive side of the appointment. They are trying to pick up any potential issues as early as possible so they can work with you to find solution to help your little girl. It is not a judgement on you.

Good luck.

My daughter is canny, at her 2 year review last month she didn't say a thing.

We're lucky we both came out alive.

was there any medical reasons that they said might have effected your daughter development?

I don't know much (if any) about developmental stuff but if your daughter does turn out to have a hearing problem do not despair! Having a hearing loss does not mean she won't grow up normally and there are tons of resources out there to help her language development.

For comparison, my niece is also 24 months and is only speaking one or two word sentences, and no one has suggested she isn't doing well. She's inquisitive and happy and is learning things her way at her speed. I suspect your daughter is the same.

Putting together two or three words is absolutely fine at 24 months. What did they say the problem was exactly?

Here are the milestones
www.healthvisitors.com/parents/development_two_yrs.htm

I thought the review was meant to be two and a half anyway? My son is 23 months and he does 2 or 3 word strings but no more. His "sentences" are no more sophisticated than "more juice please" or "bye bye daddy car". I think there is only a cause for concern if they are still on single words by second birthday. Do get her hearing checked but otherwise dont worry.

Extra nursery is definitely not required. She will get more one on one communication by being with you so I would not pay for nursery sessions you don't need.