partner walked out - now choosing new girlfriends child over his own

[cj1012]

Hello and thanks for taking the time to read this post. My partner walked out on my 3yr old daughter and myself last October. He is seeing someone else and said he met her after he walked out, which I don't believe at all. He has been really nasty about the whole thing which is obviously very hurtful to me and my daughter. He sees his daughter once a week on a Saturday, but a couple of weeks ago I found out he has taken my daughter out with his new partner and her daughter. I was very angry at this as I feel it is far too soon in his relationship to introduce anyone to our daughter, she is only 3 and it is a difficult enough for her with her dad walking out. I know nothing about this girl or her background apart from her ex partner cheated on her and also beat her up, and am frankly not interested at this present moment in time. Another reason I do not want my daughter to be part of his new relationship. I do not give him overnight access as he has bipolar and on many occasions when he was looking after our daughter when I popped out to the shops I would come back and he had fallen asleep. He has an 11 yr old son from a previous relationship and he split with this girl when his son was 6 months old. I was always the one who looked after his son when we had him and I am certainly not going to allow another female to be responsible for the care of my daughter . I have sought legal advise and I am well within my rights to refuse him access until he understands the times he sees our daughter are for him to bond with her, not to play along with his jolly games playing happy families. It is about our daughter and not what he wants but what is best for her going forward. I asked him yesterday if he could look after our daughter for an hour so I could go yo a palates class, and he initially said no but then yes, today he text me to say he was babysitting his girlfriends daughter also and he would bring her along, I said absolutely not he said if he could not then he can't Do it, the short of it he has chosen another persons daughter over his own flesh and blood, which frankly disgusts me.
Any view/comments Would be appreciated thanks for reading. ??

I think they have the right idea in Germany!

I'm sorry you are going through this, I played second best to the ow's daughter as a child and it was soul destroying. I was older than your dd at the time. I can't describe how horrible it was having some random girl there all the time when I got to see my dad.

This twat left three months ago, it is way to soon to be babysitting his girlfriends dd. his priority should be reaffirming to his dd that he loves her and even though mum and dad aren't together anymore that she is still the most important thing in his world.

It's too soon to have a set in stone contact rota, he should have said no to seeing his dd rather than bring someone else's child along.

I was thinking about this thread last night before I went to sleep.

We as mums usually make the majority of the decisions, we have total control over our dc. In nurserys and child minders we can dictate what they eat if they have a nap and how long that nap is, if we don't like someone then we don't see them let alone let our dc see them. It's more down to us how we parent.

Then you split up with your dc dad and that's all took away. It's horrible if we are being honest that we're not in charge for that time.

I was very bitter at first over my dds dad, I found every little excuse and reason to cause a fuss and say he's a crap dad he can't see them again.

If you can start detaching and letting go (yes I know it's only been 3 months) it will be so much better for you and your dd. You are going to have to deal with this man for the rest of your life, weddings grandchildren Christmas and birthdays it will work for you so much if you can just smile smile smile and be nice.