Kids and funerals

[Littlemisstax]

Unfortunately it looks likely that I'm going to have to take my kids (DD 3.3 and DS 4 months) to their first funeral soon. It will be a full Catholic service in a Southern European country for a close elderly family member. I think it will be in English (although this is by no means certain). The children's attendance will definitely be wanted by the family.

What’s the etiquette for children and funerals?

DS has some smart dungarees that he wore for his Christening in navy blue with a lovely teal shirt. DD wore a beautiful dark pink dress. Would these be ok for them to wear? I don’t really want to put the children in black (and would have no idea where to purchase black clothes in their sizes).

I guess I’m going to need to be in black – I have loads of black clothes, but none suitable for breast feeding so I guess I’m heading to the shops for me. DH is easy, I’ll take a suit to the dry cleaners for him.

Both children are used to going to church, but the service is likely to be much longer than they are used to. I can keep DS quiet with a boob as required – would it be ok for DD to have a colouring book or jigsaw to do? I appreciate that Peppa Pig on the ipad is not acceptable

If it's unavoidable to take them (which it is), and family are wanting and expecting them to be there too, I think it would be fine to take some quiet distractions for them. Colouring books etc.

The one thing I would suggest, just from having been to full catholic funerals in the past, is they can go on for an extremely long time in the world of children. Maybe some snacks in a bag too? Rules have to be bent for children in these situations. And if at all possible I would try and sit towards the back, that way if there is the start of a screaming fit from one of them it's a short way to the door to take them outside, that way they weren't disturbing other people.