WWYD - strange weird ignoring thing going on with another Mum

[bonvivant]

So another Mum I knew started blanking me several months ago. So, for example, when I am in a small group and she joins the group, she ignores me even when I say hi - doesn't answer or anything and cannot look me in the eye. She also has a habit of completely turning her back on me when we are in a group so I am physically excluded from the conversation. If I am at the school on my own and she's there too, she goes and stands somewhere else.

I had vowed to ignore her back as I couldn't be bothered but I find it really difficult to do in practice - seems so petty.

Recently we were both at another Mum's house and again she ignored me when I said hi directly to her. However, later on, we found ourselves just the two of us so I walked straight up to her and started talking and she talked back fine etc. But I know next time I see her she will blank me again - it has happened before.

It's really weird and I don't know what to do. Any advice?

Personally I would ask her. Say something like I hope I haven't done anything to offend you with a smile on your face.

I've shied away from that as I think she will just pretend she's not doing it and shrug it off.

I can't believe grown women act like this - feels like being back at school!

I wouldn't bother asking her if you have offended her but you could make it plain that she is offending you.

How weird and unsettling. I think I'd bring it up with her directly too...possibly when she's doing it. So if she stands so as to block you out of a group situation I'd say, 'oh excuse me, could you let me in?' and draw attention to the fact that you've noticed and won't be bullied.

I'd ask. But if she fobs me off, I'd ignore her back - not in a tit or tat way but because its too much energy to keep wondering. A mother did this to me, except sometimes she'd speak to me, sometimes she wouldn't. The tension whenever I saw her was a killer. Life's too short.

Fuck her,
Ignore back and focus on other stuff.

Ask her! If she comes back with something shit , blank her back

or turn everyone else against her in the group

Yes, that's how I feel - whenever I see her, I'm not sure what to do and it then just depends on how I feel at that moment i.e. do I go over and try to strike up a conversation as I did the other day or do I go to lengths to avoid her? it's just all too tiring!

Sorry, should have added that she is a Wendy and whilst I wouldn't say she has turned everyone against me, she has infiltrated the social group and effectively excluded me by not inviting me to the various gatherings she organises. So she excludes me and ignores me!

I'd be polite and civil, but don't go out of your way to be chummy. There could any number of reasons why she blows hot and cold with you.

Honestly, I'd imagine you're not on her radar.
It's nothing to do with you, obviously as you said, she speaks when you're one to one.

I see it all the time, if there's someone that person wants to talk to they'll barely notice who else is around.

Just don't worry about it, why is she on your radar?
Move away and don't engage and most of all, do not give her a second thought.

Obviously I've had several months of being ignored to observe what is happening. I've even been sat with her and one other for a good 15 minutes and she has not even glanced in my direction during the conversation - when sat opposite me. She couldn't turn her back on me then but still completely ignored me.

I've observed how she is like with others and it's the reverse, all schmoozy etc (she is rather superficial).

How about arranging some of your own gatherings with the people you like?

Don't waste your energy on trying to please this person. You're clearly not going to get along, and she doesn't sound very nice.