Attending family eent, abuser will be at ?

[differentuser]

Name changed for this , My earliest memory was when I was around 4 and my uncle touching me sexualy and also making me do things to him, He was living with us at the time so have no idea if it was a one off or not but thats all I can remember.
Anyway I have never told anyone except dh and have managed to avoid family event I know he will attend though to be honest he has had pretty much no contact with my parents for over 10 years.
My dilema now though is my dsis is getting her dd christened in a few months time and told me yeterday she had invited him, My dd is just a little older than I was when this happened and I will have another dd who will be 2 weeks old at most on the day , I am terrified at the thought of being anywhere near him I had a nightmare last night for the first time in years, and the idea of him being anywhere near my dds is horrible , but what choice do I have my and dsis have only just regained contact and I know if i dont attend it will be used against me, If i do attend I will see him and since my dm adores him no doubt will want to show off her newest dd. wwyd ? in my nightmare last night I told them all what had happened , I wish I could but it would break there hearts.

Sorry for the ramble and crappy grammer.

I'll try linking again:

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2515833/Actress-The-Office-tells-child-sex-ordeal-beast-molested-jailed-decades-later.html

Whilst I know you feel you can't tell your family, a part of me thinks you need to. This uncle abused you and could go on abusing other members of your family. The only thing is you mentioned your sister wouldn't believe you, but at least you'd know you did what you could to warn them about this vile man.

But it is of course easier said than done. I agree with the person who said you need to contact him and tell him he won't be going. Why should you miss out on family events he will be at?

The police will believe you, and there will almost certainly be other victims who may have already spoken to the police, or who may now come forward.

And for your immediate decision - tell your dsis. You might also want to write to the abuser and warn him to stay away and make it clear why.

Keep a copy of the letter - if you do go to the police, it would be used to support your case.

Your DH calling him is worth a try but he could just deny everything and what can the police do with a memory so vague on detail? They will believe you but how can they prosecute?

I just think you need to think very carefully before you disclose this, even
if only to tell the abuser you remember it. A family christening is not the best time to do it either. That will ruin the memory of the event for everyone.

I know I am not being very helpful and I am sorry for that but think things through before you act. Some posters here give instructions, not advice, and they don't have to deal with the fall out.

Roshbegosh - the police will act - they take historic abuse complaints very seriously.

The case I linked to was one woman's word against her abuser. The jury, rightly, knew she was telling the truth.

The OP's case might not come to court, but the police would knock on his door and question him -IF she chose to take that path.

OP - please contact someone who deals with this sort of thing to talk it through and do tell your family. Why should the abuser continue to control you?

Well, if you aren't comfortable with going ot the police, start with getting your DH to talk to him and threaten it. I would put money on the fact that he'd be too scared the police would believe you to risk it.

I believe you.

I think that if you can find the necessary to tell your sister, it will help you enormously. You may find that you have more courage than you think you do. God bless.

I believe you.