Some quickies...

[HappyDaddy]

A man walked into a bar...
he had 5 stitches in his head.

A horse walks into a pub. Barman says, "why the long face?"

A raggedy piece of rope walks into a pub. Barman says, "I don't serve string, that lot are nothing but trouble. You're not a piece of string are you?" Rope says "No, I'm a frayed knot" .

A man walked into the bar with his friend, his friend sat down and the man ordered the drinks saying
"a pint for me and one for the donkey over there"
they finished and he went up again and said
"a pint for me and one for the donkey over there"
the next time the other man went up the barman said did you knwo your friend calls you a donkey?
"yeah" said the man "he aww he aww he always calls me that"