So husband tells me yesterday that he plans on doing 8 day charity cycle ride in Vietnam, leaving Thursday!!!!WWYD?

[hmc]

He has known about the date for this for at least 6 months. He has mentioned it to me before in the generality - but I thought it was months away - not imminent. Am proper pissed off at lack of notice. Any thoughts?

I get an email with dh's daily Google calendar itinerary at 5am every morning. I'm trying to think how I would react if one day I idly opened it to read he was off to Vietnam. I think I'd explode.

I can understand how this could have happened anyway. If dh was going to Vietnam, I'd need dates immediately. Didn't you ask for more details? Not saying it's your fault - he's responsible for making his plans clear, not you - but I can't imagine that level of oblivion on your part!

Dh is like this, he goes away for the weekend which makes him feel guilty so he doesn't text at all even though I ask him to. I hate him not bothering to text me, I don't mind him going away.

All because it makes him feel guilty wtf

If he doesn't like leaving the family for 8 days, then he should be pulling his head out of the sand and making sure you have a reasonable level of support while he's away.

My DP is a bit like this but I admit a lot of the problem is my inability to work out what day it is. Still pisses me off though.

How old are your dc OP? Do you work? I'm trying to figure out how much hassle his absence will cause you?

I would not be happy about this at all, but we co-ordinate diaries to within an inch of our lives to make sure that no dc get abandoned anywhere!

While he's away, I'd gleefully arrange 8 days away to somewhere of your choosing with a bunch of mates.

It wasn't your DH going off on the motorcycle tour through India last year was it?

Nope - charity bike ride in India about 18 months ago bsc

The India bike tour thread I was thinking of was longer ago than I remembered! And was not for charity.

When he went to India did you have proper notice?

erk... that was rather longer than 18mo ago, wasn't it?

How did he tell you? Did he just casually mention it over breakfast one morning? . What would happen if you mentioned that you were off to for 8 days? Perhaps I am boringly conventional but this is the most bizarre situation, DH and I do spend holidays/weekends apart quite frequently, and he often works abroad, but these are planned well in advance so that childcare & domestic responsibilities etc are completely covered.

My DH is a bit like this, OP. He announces vague work-trip plans a few months off. Years ago I used to listen carefully, but as about half of the plans don't come off for various reasons, I don't now take a lot of notice until we have the convo you describe. Then I say, "What, India, next week? Really? Did I know about this?"

I think you & your DH (and I & mine) need to compare calendars more often.

your H is a bit nuts though, isnt he? from what i remember?

i thought you were splititng