DCs home for Christmas (unscheduled) - we're due to be away!

[WhitesandsofLuskentyre]

XH and I have had our teenage DCs alternate Christmases for the past few years. Knowing it was his turn this year, DP's mum invited us to go on holiday over Christmas.

However, DCs have now announced they don't want to go to their dad, but want to come home for Christmas.

Leaving me with no choice but to stay here and let DP and DS[5] go on holiday with his mum and the rest of his family without me.

The whole reason DP's mum chose this year was because she knew DCs were with their dad. I can't force her to extend the invitation to my DCs (their relationship is polite, but not close), even if her/our budget allowed (which it doesn't).

I don't know what to do.

You'll have a lovely family xmas with your DP and DDs won't you? Surely he won't go away with his mum if you can't go?

no chance she can come to you no way on this earth would I be separated from my 5 year old for a reason like this

oh hang on on actual holiday - it it booked??

and FWIW I think they should go to dads, unless he is ok with this

It's only September. Call your DP's mum, explain what has happened, apologise for the change of planes, and invite her over. It's unfortunate, but you can't expect to be separated from your 5-year-old or your older children at Christmas.

Why don't the teenagers want to go to their Dad's?

Unless they had a very good reason (he is an abusive arse), I think I would be insisting that they spend Christmas with him.

How does the Dad feel about this?

How old are they? From the way it's written 'come home' it implies they aren't normally resident at yours - exh or uni maybe? I'd say sorry but you have already made plans if they are older teens who could take care of themselves. I would also wonder if pressure has been put on them by xh as he's miffed you were going away.

They're both in their teens, and at college/uni.

I managed to get to the bottom of the issue with their dad: it's not about him - it seems DDs don't want another Christmas cooped up with their stepmother. So DD1 is trying to mastermind something with XH's mum, to see if they can go there with XH, and possibly meet up with my XBiL's family too.

We're only due to be away for about 4 days, so DDs will still be spending a lot of the festive season at home.