Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

to morning after pill or not to morning after pill??? I'm 44!

3 replies

PleaseKeepCalmWhileIPanic · 08/08/2013 16:02

ok, here goes...DP and I had unprotected sex last night and this morning I realised I am about 10 days from the end of my cycle - ie 10 d til next period due so probably quite fertile...however I am now 44 so maybe not all that fertile after all...

We usually use withdrawal method. It would not be end of world if I got pregnant, though we are not planning it.

This morning I realised where in the cycle I am (have had a lot going on so wasn't that sure last night) and that it might be fertile time.

Had chat with Dp about it this am and whether I should take morning after pill. We are both very ambivalent. Practically speaking having a baby wouldn't be fab. We don't have an extra bedroom, I have two DD from a previous relationship (11 and 8) who are still having their issues (minor really, but requiring support) since the breakup of that and not living with their dad anymore (we split 3 years ago) and I get very anxious about them on occasion, and am wracked with guilt about how I have "ruined their lives" (ExP is a lovely man and good dad on many levels but was a highly functioning alcoholic who nearly wrecked my head)and of course, I am 44 years old so not a spring chick anymore. BUt on the other hand emotionally we would both love a baby and feel on some sort of level we could cope with that.DP is a year younger than me and has no kids of his own. My kids live with us 95% of the time and he is really good with them.

We went to town and bought the MA pill just so we had it and last time we talked, around lunchtime, DP said ok maybe you should just take it. WE dithered and dathered about whether we should just let fate take over or what. We both admitted that if I just fell pregnant using the normal withdrawal method in any given month we'd be ok with that and move on but it seems different somehow that we've realised this might be a fertile time and so it's a bit more like planning...so we should nip it in bud so to speak, since we can

hah hah - I realise how ridiculous this probably sounds

anyway, then I went googling chances of falling pg at 44 and it looks like they are pretty minuscule (read somewhere about 1.6%) so I'm thinking I probably don't even need to take it and could just let mother nature make the decision for us

so I haven't taken it. yet.

is that madness? does anyone out there identify with this dilemma? what would you do?

OP posts:
Vickibee · 08/08/2013 16:07

The sooner you take it the more effective it is, better to be safe than sorry

witchofmiddx · 08/08/2013 16:19

I found myself 5 weeks preg on my 45th birthday. Miscarried same day possibly from shock! Having said that I think it is extremely unlikely

catsmother · 09/08/2013 22:25

I've been pregnant at 43 (almost 44), 44 and 47 - though miscarried each time between 9 and 12 wks. So it does happen - and some women, though admittedly a minority do have healthy and successful pregnancies. I'm pretty sure Arlene Philips for example had her daughter at 47.

I guess you need to give some concentrated thought to whether or not you could cope with and/or want a baby (realise that as you posted yesterday you may well have already made the decision to take it or not).

New posts on this thread. Refresh page