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Cannot find reasons to stay in this town/house anymore!

5 replies

Tiggs2 · 07/08/2013 10:56

Morning everyone, I am looking for some opinions or advice please with regard to my home life.
Our family has lived in this house for 25 years now, the town centre is a mile away, and we are situated quite well for travelling, with a couple of motorways just a few miles away.

The main reason for my writing today is that I have come to hate living here in this town, and dread it every week when we have to go shopping. I have never been overly found of this town, and am by no means a snob, but the town is full of undesirables now, young mothers shouting the most terrible swear words at young children, drunks, layabouts, thieves etc etc. The town itself has become filthy with more and more shops closing down and its looking more scruffy everyday. I know this is a sign of the times, and many other towns are affected, but I am struggling within myself to find a positive reason to stay here.

A couple of months ago I was subject to a nasty verbal attack, whilst shopping in the local supermarket of all places! We had only called in there for a few bits and my husband unknowingly got in the way of a young couple, who then decided to make fun behind his back and pull nasty faces like he was a piece of S""T.

They didn't realise that I was with him and was watching everything they were doing, so had quite a shock when I remarked that it was out of order and very rude! The next thing I knew, the girl, ( who was wearing pjs, furry boots and held a mug of tea in hand), launched a foul mouthed attack at me, including offering to give me a hiding and slap me down!! Horrid names were shouted at me in front of all the other shoppers, and she continued this all over the store.
Enough was enough, and I finally put an end to it by marching up to and offering her the chance to take the first swing at me and then I informed her that I would knock her out!
I would of aswell as I was so angry that night, and though I haven't had a scrap since school days, I can look after myself if needs be.
I'm a 45 year old woman, who doesn't go round brawling or looking for fights, and I felt ashamed that people were looking at me in that situation, though I didn't shout back and certainly didn't use the bad language or names.

This is just another reason to add to my list of "negatives" with regard to living here, and I am struggling to find any positives. I have many friends and I know a lot of people in this town, but a couple of close friends have let me down a lot over the last year or so I have slowly changed my mindset over the last couple of months. I don't get upset about them anymore and when they bother to contact me then I do respond, but I am moving on. I just concentrate my efforts on my OH and my DS, I don't worry over others who don't give me a second thought anymore.

The house we live in needs a lot of loving care and jobs doing, my OH wants to extend the back of the house, revamp the gardens etc, etc and we were planning on doing all this in 2014 when we will finally have the money, but now I don't know anymore. Would it be a waste of money if I feel as I do now, and would we be better to consider a move?
We do know a lot of the neighbours, none of us are what you would call close, but many have themselves moved out or put homes up for sale.

I had a yearning to see my childhood home/town a couple of weeks ago and we drove there for a look. I was horrified to see the state of the area and in particular the road where I grew up. I could not believe that people could live in this state, and I am not exaggerating when I say that there were burnt out cars dumped in the road, bricks, rubble and many many bags of rubbish which had spilled over
everywhere!
All this could not make me feel any better about where we live now, even though its not as bad as that. My OH has said where would we move to as a lot of towns are changing in this way now and I think he would rather stay here anyway. Sorry to go on so long, but I don't know if this is a phase( though a long one) or if I really do need a change now.

OP posts:
countrymummy13 · 07/08/2013 11:19

Tiggs, that sounds awful. It sounds like you live in a really horrible place. I'm so sorry.

I think in your heart you know you want to move. And I think you're right about just wanting you look after you 3.

If things are gett

countrymummy13 · 07/08/2013 11:25

Tiggs, that sounds awful. It sounds like you live in a really horrible place. I'm so sorry.

I think in your heart you know you want to move. And I think you're right about just wanting you look after you 3.

If things are getting you down that much, and you no longer feel comfortable where you live then I'd definitely say there's no point staying. Why make yourself miserable?

But I think your DH is wrong to say all towns are like that. There're not! In fact I don't know a single place that resembles what you've described.

Sheffield and surrounding Derbyshire is lovely. As is Suffolk and Norfolk. And the West Country. They're just the places I'm familiar with.

But what about work? Would you have to stay quite local, or could you move anywhere?

Tiggs2 · 07/08/2013 11:40

Thanks for that countrymummy13, I think I need to explain what my DH meant by a lot of towns being the same. What I meant by that was that it is a sign of the times these days and that eventually a lot of towns and cities will change as the population increases, and everywhere has some undesirables, though probably fewer at this time. i only work a few part time hours and my DH will be finished anyway in 12 months.

OP posts:
countrymummy13 · 07/08/2013 13:21

A few undesirables doesn't sound like what you're talking about though.

Do you have anywhere else in mind?

Do you mean DH is retiring?

It certainly doesn't sound like you should be spending money on the house.

Tiggs2 · 07/08/2013 13:38

Hi countrymummy13, I have moved this post to Relationships, body and mind etc, as I wasn't sure If I had posted in the right catagory!
I haven't really got an actual place in mind though I would like a nice little town somewhere, which would be clean and pleasant to walk around, I don't drive so easy access aswell I suppose would have to play a part. I agree with you that I don't think we should rush into spending on this house now as it would be quite a lot. My DH does indeed retire in a year so major changes all round.

OP posts:
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