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Original poster

In rented housing supposed to be sold according to will, WWYD?

34 replies

SurpriseMuffins · 28/07/2013 10:37

Apologies in advance, long back story!

We (DD1, DD2, DD3, DH and I) moved into my mum's house about 4 years ago when she went into a care home, to part pay for the nursing home costs. We moved in on the understanding that we would either have the house for either 6 years or longer because if the money in her bank account depleted totally then care costs would have to be paid by sale of the house immediately when she died (I am being objective here, sorry if it comes across as callous).

It turned out that complications took mum from us earlier than this, and we had discussed that my brother would buy the house and we would be able to stay for 20 years, or until such time as the older DDs moved out and we wanted to move to a smaller property.

This all sounds very cushy, and it would be, as the rent is within Housing Benefit costs and other houses available for this little are down streets where there are several boarded up windows and have dire reputations for anti-social behaviour.

To put it simply, we were overjoyed that we could stay, we have built our lives around knowing we could stay here...even when/if DD1 and 2 went to uni we would've scrimped up enough money to pay the bedroom tax that would mean we could give them a home if they wanted to come back.

But it has all fallen through...not only has my brother lost his job, but one of my sisters wouldn't sign the paper saying he could buy it, allegedly because it named his wife as a beneficiary so that she could be on the deeds as a safeguard.

DH has fallen apart, he is giving up on the garden and his allotment, which have taken him years to build (greenhouses, chicken enclosure and coop, cold frames, sheds and more) and trees that we'll never see bear fruit, not to mention him losing the network of friends he's built up at the allotment, most of whom he's helped out over the years too. He seems depressed. He's already ill and has been (back and joint problems suspected due to Ehlers Danlos) for over a year, but he hasn't let it affect him. now he seems to be giving up and it's breaking my heart.

Is there some sort of charity that will buy the house and accept us as sitting tennants?
I would forgo my share of the proceeds of the house if it would make any difference...I can live without cash.
Hell, I would donate an arm and a leg if it would help!

What the heck can I do? WWYD?

OP posts:
HeySoulSister · 28/07/2013 10:40

Charity? Er never heard of that but my friends house was bought by HA and she stays in it and rents it

Reality · 28/07/2013 10:41

Can't you use your share of the house as a deposit to buy somewhere for yourselves?

Do either of you work, or are you a carer?

Coudl one of your other siblings buy the house and rent it to you?

I'm sorry about your mum.

LIZS · 28/07/2013 10:49

So who owns the house at the moment, you and sblings ? Who have you been paying rent to and is it a market rent. Not sure how dh comes into it, after all you knew it might only be a short term stay and presumably if it had to be sold you could buy/rent nearby with your share of the proceeds? That way you keep his local friends and could recreate the garden over time.

Original poster
SurpriseMuffins · 28/07/2013 10:52

HeySoulSister HA is a good point, that's the kind of thing i was thinking. They would have to charge rent in line with HB wouldn't they?

Reality Neither of us working (another long story which I will not bore you with, unless anyone specifically wants to ask!), and I'm not a carer, so the deposit idea wouldn't work for us, unfortunately. The idea may be raised about another sibling buying it but to my knowledge the only one likely to afford it would be the sister who didn't sign the papers.

BTW probably should've said, my mum died well over a year ago, there have also been other issues with her will which have delayed things.

OP posts:
Original poster
SurpriseMuffins · 28/07/2013 10:59

LIZS My mother's estate owns the house, the rent has been going into the the account tied to her estate.

no, we thought it was long term since a year ago we were told "yes, you absolutely can stay there, no problem, you aren't going to have to leave." It was only a week ago we were told any different.
We don't have a car, so it would need to be extremely local, and he is ill, so doesn't want to cope with doing up a new house/garden again. The friends mentioned is more the 'allotment community', so if he doesn't have time to go there, he loses out.

OP posts:
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 28/07/2013 11:04

Is there any reason that neither of you can work?

I ask that not to be judgemental! But because the range of options can be narrowed enough to be useful if we knew more of your situation, otherwise people are likelyto waste their time offering solutions that are Iimpossible for you. And the places you can go for help may be different depending on your situation.

However, I appreciate that's very personal and you may not wish to go into it. Its just it may help people to offer useful advice/opinions.

LIZS · 28/07/2013 11:05

but if all parties agree then I don't think it has to be sold , unless there are unsettled debts outstanding. If you can mutually agree to keep it then a solicitor should be able to draw up the paperwork . Of course it may be that your brother now particularly needs the proceeds. Alternatively are there any equity share /part ownership schemes run by council or HA ?

Original poster
SurpriseMuffins · 28/07/2013 11:13

DH is looking for work despite his problems, but has not been accepted, IMO due to his lack of qualifications and severe Dyslexia. He has not applied for factory work due to joint pain when standing for long periods, but shelf-filling for example is not a problem.

I am not working because I am having 2-3 unproductive days per week due to migraine which leave me unable to concentrate during the pre-migraine stage (extremely frustrating). Previously it has been due to Social Anxiety as well.

Lol, wouldn't be on MN if I didn't expect questions.

OP posts:
Original poster
SurpriseMuffins · 28/07/2013 11:16

Hecsy last bit was to you

LIZS there is more than one sibling needing the proceeds by now.
Looking into HA idea now in another window.

OP posts:
Roshbegosh · 28/07/2013 11:19

You have had as you put it, a cushy four years but in the end people want what they are entitled to IME. Your brother may need his share and there are others in the family. You will get a windfall when it sells and the estate is wound up so that will have to set you up somewhere else. Hope your DH's health improves and he comes through this, sadly for you both, it is just reality. Dare I say it .... could you try to get a job?

Roshbegosh · 28/07/2013 11:20

Sorry cross post

HeySoulSister · 28/07/2013 11:21

Are you and your DH claiming JSA?

Are you on council/HA lists? If not, get on them.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 28/07/2013 11:38

HA suggestion is a good one, I don't know whether they may be more willing to help because of your health issues.

Also agree about council/HA lists.

Have you contacted shelter and the CAB to go through it with them and see what your options are?
Have you talked with your siblings to see whether you can offer a solution that is acceptable to them? Maybe one of them gets a mortgage and your rent covers it?

But its how to ensure that you aren't tying up their inheritance, because they have the right to have it.

If the house is sold then your share would surely pay deposit and first few months rent on it? Time enough to get hb sorted? Even if you have to compromise with a smaller house to get into a nicer area?

Original poster
SurpriseMuffins · 28/07/2013 11:39

Yes we are claiming JSA.

I intend to get on the council list ASAP but the lists are so full I doubt we'd get a look in! currently looking at the HA lists but having difficulty telling which ones serve our area!

OP posts:
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 28/07/2013 11:40

I know re mortgage your brother was, btw, but since he can't I meant have you discussed it with any of the others?

Original poster
SurpriseMuffins · 28/07/2013 11:52

Hecsy neither of us are registered disabled and IME unless it's on paper nobody cares.
CAB is probably best starting point, as they will help with who to contact. Good idea - should've thought of it myself but I've been too distressed about DH I guess.
5 siblings, 3 definitely not, 1 was going to, other...possibly but was the one who wouldn't sign. I may pluck up the courage to ask her!

OP posts:
lougle · 28/07/2013 12:15

Are you both signed on for JSA? Or just your DH? You can't surely sign on if you have no intention to get a job because of your migraines.

What treatment are you on for the migraines? There are lots of different treatment options which can reduce the frequency and severity of them. The National Migraine Clinic is a charitable organisation who see people with severe/protracted migraines and offers medical advice. It's normally £100 but they do consider financial circumstances.

If you were to reduce the migraines, would your social anxiety still be a barrier to working?

Have either of you applied for Personal Independence Payments (formerly DLA)?

HeySoulSister · 28/07/2013 12:19

So the job centre are needing to see evidence of your job searches

Your health issues won't be recognised by them... Sorry

If you get on the lists it means when house is sold from under you then you have more chance if them helping you as you have dc.

Original poster
SurpriseMuffins · 28/07/2013 15:05

lougle no I am a dependent of DH, who I do application forms etc for because he is too embarrassed about his writing to do it.

I have tried various medications, only names I remember are Amitriptyline, which didn't work for long, and Propranolol which I am on now. That reduced the severity and frequency until a few months ago when the migraine seems to have stepped up the game. Dosage increased, made no difference.

Regarding the Social Anxiety...I don't know until I get there! It hadn't stopped me from attending courses. Mine is mild compared to what I think most people have. Hanging said that I was also in counselling for General Anxiety Disorder and I get periodically depressed. I sound like a right hopeless case don't I?
I want to work though and have IT qualifications.

I hadn't heard of the clinic you mention, I will have a look into that, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
SurpriseMuffins · 28/07/2013 15:08

Neither of us have applied for PIP because we had assumed we wouldn't qualify. There is no physical evidence of his illness, no diagnosis yet.
I'm not sure migraines would qualify either would they? It's this another thing to investigate?

OP posts:
Original poster
SurpriseMuffins · 28/07/2013 15:15

HeySoulSister I did realise what you meant about the council housing list idea. Back up plan.

Hopefully it won't come to that. I have a plan. I'm going to start by running the Housing Association idea past my family, then tomorrow book an appointment at CAB, then Shelter and whoever else CAB can tell me do housing in my area.

I have told DH already and he seems a bit more hopeful so, thanks everybody Smile

OP posts:
lougle · 28/07/2013 15:24

Migraine itself is unlikely to qualify, unless you can get medical evidence that you suffer from chronic protracted migraine which gives you care needs.

I do sympathise, I also get migraine frequently and a single migraine can last days, plus the pre/post migraine fog. My longest was 15 days, until I went to A&E, where they injected me with sumatriptan. I now have the injections on prescription.

Roshbegosh · 28/07/2013 15:43

What sort of work did you and DH do before your migraines and anxiety and his undiagnosed condition? Maybe someone on here can suggest how you could use your skills and work experience now.

Original poster
SurpriseMuffins · 28/07/2013 18:41

Sounds like a nightmare lougle
Mine generally last from 3 hours to about 2 days and the fog, as you said, before and after. Also hate that the pain/fog makes me forget things I intended to do (which is why I've made an Acton plan and written it in three places!).

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 28/07/2013 18:50

I'd be extremely surprised if an HA will buy a house just to rent it back to you.