Cultural differences problem, please help!

[Tubemole1]

My husband, being off sick from work, has been accompanying daughter to school, she is six. She is close to a Muslim girl who I will call Kay, and they really want to see each other outside school, for tea, for weekend play dates etc. They met at school and have been friends for nearly two years. Kay rarely goes to any parties or events outside school hours.

Kay's mum is a British Muslim. My husband has attempted to be friendly towards her and asked if Kay would like to come for tea, but Kay's mum refuses to talk to him. I think this may be due to our cultural differences and I think its such a shame.

We are a liberal family, everyone is welcome in our home, whatever heritage or religion, sexual preference, whatever, and we do not want to stifle any of my child's friendships. If I could take dd to school and talk to kay's mum I would, but I work such funny hours. The girls get so excited making plans, but as parents, we feel we cannot help dd realise her plans. Dd has other friends of other backgrounds but we haven't encountered any problems before.

Sorry to go on but has anyone else had dc who wants to mix with children of different heritages and religions but barriers have been put in the way?

Cultural? No, that's just plain rude! Stop pandering to her shitty attitude. No e if my Muslim friends are like that.

Noe if should be none of.

Yeah, I don't think she's being "cultural". She's being rude. Or shy.

I have lots of Muslim friends and none would behave like that.

I thought some very strict Muslim women don't talk to unrelated men though?

Does she talk to you, op, or does she ignore you both?

And, just to state the blinking obvious, he doesn't also walk the dog on the school run?

I agree with horry there are some branches were Muslim women are not permitted to speak to men outside the family. I would approach her as a woman and speak to her.

Is the general parent population ok with her? I collect my dsd from school most weeks and there is an Asian lady in the playground who appears to be ignored by most of the parents. She may just be acutely shy or feel isolated by others?

If some don't talk to men how on earth do they expect to get on in life? Police officers, teachers, shop keepers etc, or are they allowed to be selective?

They very rarely go anywhere unaccompanied, usually mil or another elder will go along to supervise.

It all depends on how strict their faith is tbh

Like others, im pretty sure this is nothing to do with cultural differences or religion. Do u have a phone number for her? Im guessing not from your post. Very tricky. I suppose you could hand out an invite, birthday party style, for a play date. Leave RSVP information and a personal message saying you'd be happy to have the mum over for coffee? Might work..

Agree with Horry and Baby - in some cultures, the women aren't allowed to speak to men from outside their family. When they go to the Dr, etc., then they are accompanied.

By British Muslim do you mean white/convert? So there's no language barrier.

Even is she converted to the frummest of frum, culturally she would know that ignoring someone is just bloody rude in the culture she lives in/brings her kids up in. I'm assuming it's shyness. Not speaking to men is a very small minority of particularly religious folks, and I would be amazed to find someone living in the UK who wasn't from another culture/country behaving in this manner. I don't think I have ever met a woman like this.

Get your dd to pop an invitation to tea/playdate in the girls tray at school.

It could easily be cultural.

As she won't talk to your DH, perhaps you could invite the little girl by writing an invitation as a little letter or card. Put your contact details, and make sure you are there when she is picked up.

It's worth a try.