relationship break up with a child involved

[rennieb35]

Really need your advice. I have been with my partner for 8 years and have a 6 year old daughter with him for the pass 2 years we have not made love my daughter sleeps with me he sleeps on the sofa to be honest I have fell out of love with him. He has decided he is moving back Scotland, we live in Birmingham, England, I feel this is too far to be living away from our daughter, my question is how do we explain this to daugther? cause we have told her that he is going there for work and that we are going to join him when he sorts things out up there, but I know that I don't want to go and also I don't want to be with him any more, but I want my daughter to grow up in a household with her mom and dad I feel so heartbroken about the situation he's saying we should not make a big deal about it but I can see my daughter is sad about it. How should I handle this so that my daughter can understand and without giving her false hope? and do you think that its too far him to be away from her because she is so close to her dad and she adores him. Any advice would really help, thank you x x x x

I have been through divorce with two kids. I really don't think there is any way to stop your DD feeling SOME grief, but best to be up front and down to earth with her. Also, make sure she knows it is NOT her fault and that even though two grown ups can stop loving each other they NEVER stop loving their children. It is far for him to go if he wants regular contact with his daughter, but I expect he is feeling hurt and wanting a fresh start. Is there a way you can gently and kindly talk about this with him and say that you so much want her to grow up with her Daddy and can he live close by so that she can see him every week? Otherwise you will just have to do your best and see if he will commit to say, one weekend a month, come down to see her. If there really is no way back for your relationship then the best thing is to be totally frank with your DD and not tell her lies to spare her feelings. Are you hedging your bets because you still hope the relationship can be revived? If you think you can give it another go then you owe it to everyone to try. But if it is over then it will only do harm if you pretend that it isn't.

hello rennie, I'm not whether you intended to put this in the Blogger's topic but is unlikely to get much traffic or the right responses here, so I suggest you cut and paste your post into the 'Relationships' or the Lone Parenting topic instead. Hope that helps, and good luck.

Thank you for your advice, your right honesty is the best way to go, Wow this is going to be hard x x x

Another new singer mum looking for advice in SW3 London. We just return
London home from the State, father fell in love with other bird, I leave him for good after 10 years relationship. Now I am facing schooling, home setting, Where to meet other mums locally to make new friends with my only child ( she is age of 6), any tips for summer classes near sw3 and book reading etc would be helpful, many thanks. I try my best but it is going to be hard....