Hi all,
Really need to tell someone about this. My other half uses soft porn (nuts etc) when I'm not about. We have an agreement that it's ok if I'm not in the house.
The other night he admitted to using it whilst I was asleep. I was deeply hurt by this and we are still talking through what to do. He wants to ban it completely, I don't as I read some soft porn and feel it would by hypocritical. But I need to think more on this.
The biggest issue is that I had a snoop today. I don't really know why. I found he had deleted whatever he had been looking at the other night, but further back there were some of his usual pictures, but immediately after were some facebook pictures of an ex. Fairly sexy pictures of herself that she has on her account.
What do I do? 7 weeks in to our relationship (now together nearly 2 years) he sent her 2 inappropriate messages. I forgave and moved on . . . it was early days etc etc. He is out, I want to ring him and ask him to come home. I want to have this out but at the same time, I don't. I have a hugely important presentation to prepare for (it really is very important, career impacting in ways I can't quite describe without outing myself too much). . . and I want to focus on that.
At the same time my stomach is lurching and I want to throw up/scream/cry/pack his things up/tell him not to come back and stay with friends/.
I am in two minds. Do I admit to snooping? Or do I ask to see what he was looking at the other night, out of curiosity and when, it is of course not there, ask to see further back, thus outing the pictures of the ex and waiting to see what happens?
Or do I do nothing, wait and watch?
My heart is literally in my mouth.