old couple sat at the dinner table
the old lady says to her husband "my nipples are as hot for you as they was when we was young"
hubby replies "im not f*cking suprised,youve got one in your soup and the other in your coffee!"
prostitute goes to the doctor,shes pregnant.
doctor says "do you know who the dad is?"
prostitute says "if i gave you a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart?!!"
a man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner but doesnt tell the kids what it is.
he says he'll give them a clue,"its what mummy sometimes calls me!"
the little girls screams "dont eat it,its an arsehole!!"