Friend help...

[twoofakind]

Hello, im new so im sorry if im posting in the wrong place.
I am a very shy girl, rubbish at starting and keeping conversations going, even with friends and family.

It just seems like the same thing always comes up and I can see their minds drifting away!

For example, a friend I have known for about 4 years now, we're both godparents to each others child, we don't see each other that much as we live far apart and she works and I dont, When we do all meet up (both our hubbys a friendly too) it just seems all I bring up is the kids and I can tell thats not what she wants to talk about, but I just don't know what to say, I'd feel silly asking her about hobbies etc, cause of the amount of time we've known each other.

And tonight I've been invited to go out with a couple friends who ive not seen in a couple years, and wont know what to talk about with them....

I stutter a bit when I talk and I easly blush too, for no apparent reason...Im such a geek!! please help me! x

Can you talk about stuff on TV? In the news? Nowt wrong with talking about your kids though. Difficult for me because I find it hard to stop talking but see if you can find a way in and take it from there.

Ps if you've not seen your friends for a couple of years, there's an easy topic. What have they been up to with kids, houses, work, holidays, hobbies etc?

Thats true...but im just rubbish at keeping a conversation flowing too! I don't go out because of it, and I just feel its time do something about it!
Thanks for your reply..x

Try not to think of blushing and such because I find if I expect it to happen it happens worse.

I'm really bad too so I feel your pain. Don't be afraid of silences. Let your friend choose topic.

Have a think about what you're into so that when you meet your friends and they ask what you've been up to since you last saw them you have an idea of what you can talk about.

A common topic is what's hot on the TV atm - BGT, The Voice etc. Or films that are big perhaps...

as a pp said - you can go into what you've achieved since you last saw without sounding all smug kids, houses, jobs, hobbies, holidays etc.

Talk about any plans you have coming up - home improvement, summer holiday.

If you're good friends with them, and feel comfortable, you can also talk about some of the not so good things that may have happened - the shower leaked and ruined the living room carpet etc.

Try not to think too much about blushing as it'll happen all the more.

If you're struggling, take your cues from your friends - a story they're telling may just jog your memory of a tale you could tell.

Oh, I forgot - is there anyone you can practice with who won't care if you blush, stutter (not that anyone with an ounce of decency about them would laugh if you stutter - i was more thinking of you feeling comfortable with your stuttter than them laughing at you if you get me) etc.

x

These people have chosen to be friends with you. They like you already. Just think of that when you are with them. They are interested in you, your life, kids etc. They have invited you out. Remember that when you start to feel uncomfortable. I hope you enjoy yourself.