Should I speak to another mum about calling my son naughty and upsetting him.

[Bakers1]

Our 6 yr old son came home upset because his friend said his mum says our son is naughty - he is often repeating this despite us giving reassurance. I know the child's mum can say and think what she wishes but I am in a dilemma if to say anything to her - I do not want her start labelling my son, he is not a naughty child just a normal 6yr old.

Came home from where?

Thing is, it's info that has reached you via 2 6 year olds, how reliable is that?

I'd want to find out exactly what the scenario was before launching into one. 6 year olds may forget the extenuating circumstances (I.e. that he was being naughty!)

What constitutes naughty varies enormously amongst parents. There are definitely some of my dc friends that I would say are naughty but I wouldn't say it out loud. I'm sure some parents would also think it about my dd. I do sometimes.

What if the friend said to his mother, "Bakersboy pushed in front of me in line!" and mother said "oh, that was naughty....." and then friend told your DS, "my mum says you're naughty!

I agree, no child is an angel but think this mum dosnt wants her son to play with our son yet she stands & makes chit chat at school - Play ground antics! Will ignore her, life iis too short eh. Ta

But you still don't know what the circumstances are. Your son's friend is repeating this (or possibly making it up?). It could be that his mum would be horrified if she knew he was saying this.

Perhaps he'd been for tea at her house and emptied all her Molton Brown bottles into the bath in a kind of primordial soup? Justified I'd say.

What did he do? He did SOMETHING horrid, or she wouldn't have said anything, so find out what he did.

Again, if she doesn't want her son to play with yours, there is a reason.

Also, please don't take offence, but people who think they have really really good six year olds tend to have normal ones. People who say "he's just being a normal six year old" .......

As others have said I would find out what your ds did

Obv did something but whether you think that's naughty or not is the question

And tbh kids fall out all the time - if the parents get into the row then 99% of the time the kids would have made up while the adults have fallen out big time - over possibly something that was small iyswim

I think the point is that you shouldn't call the child naughty as it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's different from saying 'that was a naughty thing to do'. Whether or not he did something naughty it would be useful to talk to her - if he did do something horrid it's probably better to be aware, and if you go at it from the 'How can we stop this happening again' route you can also slip in a 'Please don't call my child naughty' without causing offence.