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Original poster

MIL's present "off the back of a lorry" - WWYD?

20 replies

tangofan · 28/12/2012 18:47

I realise this might make me sound a bit of a fart, but I'm not the sort of person who ever owns knock-off stuff because I don't want to have something that has been acquired by dodgy means - that's just me.
Right, disclaimer over, to explain: a couple of weeks before Christmas my MIL told my DH that a friend of a friend had "got a hold of some Ugg boots and stuff" and was selling them for about £25 and to let her know if he wanted some for my Christmas present. He is of the same opinion as me and knows I don't like them anyway(sorry to Ugg fans, I just don't like them) so didn't get back to her hoping she wouldn't probe into why.
She didn't but then on Christmas day she gave me an Ugg handbag, telling me that it was "off the back of a lorry" and she had been assured it was genuine.
She made a big fuss about seeing my reaction when she gave me it so she is obviously expecting me to be impressed and grateful but the bottom line is I don't want this bag and whilst the obvious thing would be to take it straight to the charity shop I'm around my MIL too often to get away with that.
For a start I have to go round to her house for a family gathering on Sunday and I know she will be expecting to see it, especially as she gave my SIL one who will be happy to have hers on display as she won't care and has no taste anyway.
I know I could just stick it in the back of the cupboard but it's the principle of owning something nicked that I don't like plus having to answer awkward questions about the lack of it's appearance....
Any ideas?

OP posts:
BeataNoxPotter · 28/12/2012 18:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentProvocateur · 28/12/2012 18:54

I feel the same as you about things like this - I am friendly with musicians and actors, and I don't even watch pirate DVDs or download music illegally because it impacts upon their earnings.

I've no idea what I would do in your situation though. Is it a real stolen one or a fake?

lidlqueen · 28/12/2012 19:00

give it to a charity shop and wear something that wouldnt match it ?

bluebiscuit · 28/12/2012 19:03

I agree with you on this.

So, I would use the handbag on Sunday and make sure she sees it. Then stick it in the back of a cupboard for a little while. After she has stopped talking about it, give it to a charity shop. If you ever needed to explain its absence after that, perhaps a visiting child drew on it with some felt tips and you tried to wash it and totally ruined it?

BOFingSanta · 28/12/2012 19:04

It's more likely to be a fake than stolen, I reckon.

HarlettHoHoHoScara · 28/12/2012 19:04

Those 'genuine' but 'off the back of a lorry' designer goods are almost always fakes. Not sure if that makes you feel any better but they are far more likely to be counterfeit than stolen.

HarlettHoHoHoScara · 28/12/2012 19:05

X posted with BOF

Original poster
tangofan · 28/12/2012 19:05

Xmas Grin at Beata - I like your idea(and way of thinking!)

It is genuine, Agent, as she was keen to emphasise ... It has a pretty solid metal label, iyswim, so it's either a cracking fake or genuine.

OP posts:
ChristmasNamechangeBridezilla · 28/12/2012 19:06

I also think it's probably fake. If that's any consolation.

judefawley · 28/12/2012 19:06

On principle, I couldn't use it.

ihearsounds · 28/12/2012 19:06

Could be fake.
We get offered stuff all the time under the guise that its fallen off a lorry. But its all fake, not that we buy anyway.
As for the bag, tell her the truth. You don't like stolen/fake goods. The money used is used to support major criminal activity, and because of the bag someone in a poorer country is being exploited. The people who are behind fakes are the same people that are also behind drugs, people trafficking, child exploitation etc. Same goes with pirate dvds.

Original poster
tangofan · 28/12/2012 19:10

It does make me feel better, thanks. Though, as ihear says, the people behind those are also behind other dodgy stuff.

Like the idea of just 'fessing up about not wanting it (would be easier than trying to find something to ahem, "ruin" it by accident).
Problem is they are going to get their judgy pants on and think I'm making a big fuss about nothing because they are a bit small -minded in that respect

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TheHillsAreAliveWithMrsWembley · 28/12/2012 19:16

If they are going to be judgy with no sign of shame then you go right ahead and get judgy back!Angry I can't abide it when people can't take the crap they are happy to deal out because they know that you just want to keep the peace. No, if you have principles (and good on you for those principles), stick to them and let them know how you feel without any embarrassment.

And then you don't have to say you think they're ugly...Wink

Original poster
tangofan · 28/12/2012 19:41

Thanks thehills

I'm being a bit feeble because I know how the gossip will race around the family about me being (in their eyes) over the top about what is just a bag.
The aforementioned SIL and her DH have chipped DS's and a chipped Wii and have literally hundreds of downloaded games and films and we once mentioned that we don't agree with it after their 5 year old replied "we just got it off the computer" when our 6 year old asked about a game they had and there was much raising of eyebrows and exchanging of glances. It's more because we believe in giving them as rewards or birthday/xmas presents rather than turning them into the spoilt brats they have (last laugh for us at least)but we tried to explain about leading by example and ever since they have to have a dig about it whenever the chance arises and I can't be arsed to give them more joke fodder. Xmas Sad

OP posts:
Hopeandbluebells · 29/12/2012 12:09

I'd go with the saving it for best line to the family and then take it to a charity shop, that way they can't kick off at you because they'll never know.

Apart from anything, why did she feel the need to tell you she got it off the back of a lorry? That's like saying she couldn't be bothered to buy you something nice but came by this bag so thought you migh as well have that!

Original poster
tangofan · 30/12/2012 15:07

hope I think it was because she she gave my sil hers she said something like, "wow did you rob a bank or something mum?!"so she was forced to explain.
Told dh I wanted to be honest and tell her my feelings and that I would be donating to charity shop but he wasn't keen on that...I thought is better than lying to her but he seems to think she won't notice/care that I am not using the present she gave me that is with over £100....
Any further advice welcome as I can see this is going to drag on...much like my posts Blush

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Original poster
tangofan · 30/12/2012 15:09

*apologies for typos, typing on phone

OP posts:
BlissfullyIgnorant · 30/12/2012 15:23

Why do you have to lie about/be ashamed of your principles?
Surely being honest about your feelings about stolen goods (whether the design is stolen or the item itself, there's still theft and dishonesty involved) puts you morally way, way above MIL and SIL?

suburbophobe · 30/12/2012 16:03

I'm the same. I wouldn't want stolen goods either.

and don't give a toss about designer stuff

I would just be honest because otherwise you will have the same dilemma next year.....

You certainly don't have to be ashamed of your principles!

Original poster
tangofan · 30/12/2012 20:00

I'm not ashamed of my principles, I would only lie because my DH is so over protective of his mum and is worried about her hurt feelings as she was so obviously expecting me to be delighted with it.
I have told him though that I will be vague about it if she asks but if she keeps asking how I'm liking it,etc I'm not going to lie and he agreed that was fair enough so perhaps end of the dilemma for now.
Thanks for the advice, makes me feel better to know I'm not overreacting.

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