Will spending more time with a NIGHTMARE DD help? Change working pattern? WWYD please?

[EggsOvaryZee]

I?ll try to keep this short. I have 2 dc?s. Having a nightmare with 3.8 month old ATM. Speaking horribly/aggressively too me, acting out etc?she has always been high spirited/challenging but lately it has got to the point where I really do not enjoy spending time with her doing anything and it is spoiling family life. I don?t want to be in the positiosn where I can?t wait for her to go to school?I really want to enjoy these 10 motnhs with her before she starts!
Her older brother started school this year. I think she is behaving so badly because she feels very rushed and we have no ?proper? time together ? she does 5 mornings at nursery 8-1.30pm and then we only really have an hour (either a quick 30 min class or just home) before we have to leave for school pick up. This is in stark contrast to only 3.5 months ago where I had both her and her brother at home with me alone from 1-6pm where we did all manner of lovely things together.
I imagined without her brother she?d enjoy being just with me but then when I pick him up I suppose I?m then quite focised on how hos day was, homework etc?so?all he does when he gets in is veg in front of the Tv, os all going out and doing something together (like the park) is not an ideal option?she?s also fairly tired then?and especially in this weather.
So, I was considering changing around my time at work, (mainly to benefit DD) in the hopes that we can repair our relationship and enjoy some quality time together.
WWYD? I?ve tried asking friends but everyone has their own agenda?.we have no family nearby to help out or suggest things.
Currently, I work 21 hours a week?as long as I do those hours, I?m lucky enough to be able to do them when I like. Every morning whilst she?s in nursery I did have a few hours to myself on a Weds?but I was thinking about doing 3 full(er) days?.so that we had 2 full days off at least till school pick up?although then my 5 yr old DS would have to go to a after school club, but only for about 1 hour and 15 mins since I could pick him up at 4.30pm.

Any ideas on if this is a good idea or not? Am I being ridiculously indulgent?

Of course, there?s the possibility that her behaviour wouldn?t change or improve, but I?d love to get back to where I enjoyed spending time with her because I?m really in danger of resenting her massively?I couldn?t even begin to go into what it?s like ? way beyond ?normal? 3.5 nightmare stuff?.
Any thoughts hugely appreciated!

Hi, I have a nearly 3 year old and a 5 year old. I've done two or three long days, giving me at least two days at home with the younger one. She loves her mummy days and is happy to potter around the house without her sister bossing her around and having to share my attention. On work days both girls start at 8 (breakfast club/ nursery) and dh or I collect them at 4.30. It does seem to work quite well.

My DS went through a stage if being very attention seeking at around 3.5/4 we also had DD who was 1.5.
I took him out of nursery and gave up my one free afternoon to spend time with just him- doing special trips/ craft things that weren't possible with DD there. (she was in nursery)
It worked really well- I started to enjoy his company again, and his behaviour improved.
I did also have to make a conscious effort when he started school to ask DD about her nursery day, and not just focus on his day at school.

I think from the tone of your post that you already know what you want to do . Don't worry about being indulgent, if your days are flexible then you should absolutely take steps to spend more time with your daughter. Juggling work and children takes practice and there's nothing precious about considering switching and changing occasionally to fit in with the family dynamic.