stay in touch or cut contact (fb related)

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Bil and sil have separated recently, bil is the 'family' member, so dh's brother. They live a long way away. Since separating, bil has been v upset and jealous of sil, he has gone through all her things and obsesses over what she does. He's convinced she was having an affair, but she denies it. Anyway, I don't want to get dragged into it and want to maintain some form of contact with sil, rather than just cut her off. She is the mum of my nieces and nephews as well as someone I've known for 15 years.

I have been posting a few comments on her fb wall, like 'gorgeous kids' when she posts a pic of our nieces for example. Nothing related to the divorce or remotely controversial.

Bil has asked mil and dh to tell me this is upsetting him and he wants me to stop posting (we're talking less than 10 posts altogether btw). I think it's up to me who I stay in touch with, but of course don't want to cause a family rift.

Sil has always been pleasant with me and I feel uncomfortable with bil stalking her fb and trying to censor messages

As they live a long way away, realistically fb is the easiest way to stay in touch.

So, wwyd, and what should I do?

Tell them both that they have both been your friends for 15+ years and you're not going to stop talking to either of them?

Talk to SIL about it, and ask why she hasn't blocked him from her FB?

Ignore, and carry on? If BIL has the courtesy to actually talk to you about it, you can say that his attitude is upsetting you. His "being upset" doesn't take priority.

You're not going to cause a family rift, that takes two.

Get your SIL to block BIL on FB then he won't be able to see any posts you have made or stalk her.

Ok, I'll pm sil and ask her if she's considered blocking him on fb, although I hope that doesn't cause more problems. I think he might be hacking her fb, rather than just seeing what she posts, but I'll see what she says

So, so far, everyone agrees it's quite reasonable for me to keep in touch with sil and not just appease bil?

Ok, I'll pm sil and ask her if she's considered blocking him on fb, although I hope that doesn't cause more problems. I think he might be hacking her fb, rather than just seeing what she posts, but I'll see what she says

So, so far, everyone agrees it's quite reasonable for me to keep in touch with sil and not just appease bil?

Of course it's reasonable.
You just carry on as you have been. You don't have to fall out with her on his say so. He sounds like a dick.

Well I also think it's perfectly reasonable, but mil doesn't agree.
I know when my uncle and aunt split up, my mum and dad were 'forbidden' to keep in touch. In fact, my dad phoned her up 20 years later, uncle found out and gave my dad a right mouthful of abuse
So I did wonder if it was me being unreasonable.
I know if it was me, I'd be very hurt if everyone cut contact with me.

Well I also think it's perfectly reasonable, but mil doesn't agree.
I know when my uncle and aunt split up, my mum and dad were 'forbidden' to keep in touch. In fact, my dad phoned her up 20 years later, uncle found out and gave my dad a right mouthful of abuse
So I did wonder if it was me being unreasonable.
I know if it was me, I'd be very hurt if everyone cut contact with me.

Mil doesn't get to decide who you talk to.