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BFP but when to tell DH?

9 replies

littlemonkeychops · 22/09/2012 09:33


This is my first post so i hope this is the right place for it!

DH has a massive exam this week (been studying for it for 2 years and lots of pressure from work to pass). It'll mean a big payrise if he passes. He's feeling quite confident at the moment (only the past few weeks though).

Got a faint bfp on tues but didn't say anything but then got very clear bfp this morning. I stopped bf DD recently so we could start trying but didn't expect anything so quick, not even had an af.

I thought maybe i shouldn't tell DH until next weekend so he can focus on his exam, as it's such a massive massive deal for him, but is that really patronising?? He's not a child is he? Maybe i've answered my own question?

Any thoughts? Not been able to discuss it with anyone so hard to tell what's best.

OP posts:
wannabedomesticgoddess · 22/09/2012 09:37

Tricky one.

I think I would wait tbh. But then only you know your DH. Would he be offended?

wannabedomesticgoddess · 22/09/2012 09:38

Congratulations by the way :)

littlemonkeychops · 22/09/2012 09:44

Thanks :-)

No i don't think he'd be offended. I'm torn between sharing the news (he'll be really pleased) and driving myself crazy keeping it quiet.

He's feeling confident so i'd feel awful if telling him meant he was distracted, but as i said i'm not sure if that's patronising? Maybe knowing would mesn he could put the exam in perspective? A payrise would be amazing but it's not what life's about is it ?

OP posts:
wannabedomesticgoddess · 22/09/2012 09:48

I think with another one on the way that might be more pressure to get the payrise though.

If you think you cant keep it in until after then tell him now. If it was my DP I wouldnt tell him. But thats coz I know he would panic!

littlemonkeychops · 22/09/2012 10:02

Thanks, yeah i'm bit worried he might latch onto it as something to worry about just because he's stressed.

OP posts:
Leftwingharpie · 13/10/2012 09:16

It sounds like a why rock the boat situation, OP. You must be bursting with the news, I don't envy you the wait if you decide not to tell him till after the exam!

DinosaurSchool · 13/10/2012 09:22

I probably wouldn't tell him if you manage it. It'll make next weekend even more celebratory.
Have you got a friend you could tell do at least you get to talk to somebody about it?

Folicacid · 13/10/2012 11:09

I would keep schutm if possible. Let him focus solely on the exam with no added pressure then let him know.

Stateofplay · 13/10/2012 17:09

I wouldn't tell him, although its happy news it'll put even more pressure on him to pass. It'll be great to share it with him afterwards though!

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