i think I know the answer to this one, but WWYD?

[SilverIce]

DD2 (aged 3) has seen DD1 particioate in various extra curricula activities and over the summer decided she would like to enroll for a Pre-school Music and Singing class. I enrolled her and paid for the term.

Class started last week. She FREAKED out when she realised I had to wait outside the classroom. The teacher was sweet, encouraged her to sit on the carpet, but to no avail. We ended up leaving after half the session as she was just so upset.

Tried to get her to go today. She just started to cry and say she didn't want to go. I think she just didn't realise it would entail her going into the class without me.

I shold let her drop it, shouldn't I? She's not 4 until Jan.

Have you talked to her about it? Maybe sit and sing in the living room, explain its basically the same? If she's really I'd let it go. It'll only make her worse if you force it. There's plenty of time for activities in the future.

Yes, week 1 I stayed in the class but I was the only mum and the teacher said it was not really part of the deal. She was nice, don't get me wrong. I feel like I should be persuading her....but to what end?

I wouldn't press it tbh.

You don't want to be the only
Mum there, I don't think that will help. If she's still getting upset id not bother anymore. Only other option is to miss a week and see if she's bothered next week?

Ask the teacher for your money back. Most classes let you go a few times dropping in before paying up for a term.

Has she never ever been to something before without you there?

Maybe have at least one more go.

Maybe the teacher would let you defer to next term when she is that little bit older?

Is this the only place she has shown separation anxiety like this? What about nursery etc?

Mine are a bit older now but I really don't think they were doing EC activities without me at age 3 - it does seem quite young!

Not too bothered about the money. It wasn't a fortune.

She started nursery this term and, tbh, is still dealing with separation anxiety. Not easy. I guess I feel like we should prioritise nursery. But there's a nagging doubt that I am teaching her to be a quitter.

I never allowed DD1 to quit anything. She is a nervous, anxious wreck.

DD2 wanted to go dancing with her, she went about six times before summer, and then in July started screaming - I went in a couple of times, but it wasn't fair on the teacher who was trying to teach to leave a crying child there.

Come september she started trotting in happy as larry.

I think leaving a crying child at nursery is different, because they are there to look after them, not to actually teach them anything (although they will hopefully do a bit of that too.)

If you are dropping your older child off, I would take your younger, and just ask her if she wants to go in or not.

Wont they let you stay for a few sessions?

I'd try and defer it too, tbh.
DS started dance classes last year when he was 3 - mums weren't encouraged to stay but not asked to leave either (big hall) and we mostly sat alongside the wall and stayed out of it, but were there if needed.
This year he's 4 and mums have been asked not to stay (because of distraction/younger sibs being allowed to run riot / too much noise chatting) and DS is fine if I leave. He wouldn't have been last year. He's also fine going to preschool, which he may not have been last year.

So yes, a few months might make all the difference - it's not quitting, it's waiting until she's ready. Big difference.

Thumbwitch
What a good way of phrasing it: not quitting, but waiting until she's ready.

Thisismummypig
You say your Dd has a nervous disposition but you never let her quit anything, what's your rationale for that?