kids say the funniest things!

[Flojo1979]

Conversation with dc's this afternoon...

Me: "Look DC's...Alpacas"

Dd (3 yo) "thems not crackers, thems sheep"

DS (7 yo) "them sheep do look crackers tho"

Please share yours, I could do with cheering up!

My son shouted all the way round Tesco "dead fish!" "Dead fish!" at people.

He just wanted to see the fish counter. He is 2.10

Haha I bet that got some interesting looks!

It did indeed!

He has also lifted a woman's skirt and shouted no Willy

My ds (20months) went round a busy museum shouting from his pushchair "mooooooovvvveeee" at the top of his voice to the slow old people in front

Ds1 seems to enjoy tormenting my Grand-Mother.

George: why do you have worms on your face
Nan: wrinkles sweetie
George: but I've got a winkle!
Nan: It's wrinkles
George: oh...is that what old men have
Nan: I'm a lady
George: no you have no hair and you look like a man.

Oh god

Ds2 in tescos,my Mums name is Dianne and we call her Di (die).

Blake: die,die,die,die,die,die,die
Random lady: why are you shouting die that's not nice
Blake: die,die,die,die,die,die,die
Lady: naughty child

Caught up with her after,she got a right talk.

To a tattoed man on the bus - "Your mummy is going to be sooooooooooo mad at you - you drawed all over your arms with PEN"

My DC
Just starting talking he is 2.6
He loves other kids so allways would say baby

But the last time he went wird
And when he will see mum with the kid he would shout mummy
Thats still not that bad
He would shout o daddy to accidental guys on strret
And people do look strange at me

Sometimes on the street we would play games
We would count cars talk about collour

When my boy would say "one car" Im quickly adding
two etc
Cos his one car sound like (wanker)

Dd1 when she was around 2 1/2 used to shout 'HELP' at random strangers if I picked her up in public.

If we were out and I said 'don't do dd1 it's rude/naughty/unkind' she used to bow her head and say 'yes your majesty'.

Dd2 is 7 months and just scowls at anyone who tries to talk to her.

I was in a public toilets the other day and heard this from next cubicle . .

Child~ mummy is that your willy?
mum~(embarrassing laugh) no Oscar
child~ I've got a willy
mum~ yes I know Oscar please keep your voice down
child~ so we both have willys mummy
mum~ let's talk about this when we get home okay?
child~ about our willies?
mum~ Oscar please stop saying that word
child~ what word? willy? well you were the one who said we should talk about them mummy sigh

made me chucked :)

my then four year old cousin once shouted "did you hear that? that man farTed when he picked up his cheese" in tesCos once

chuckle* not chucked lol

Conversation between cousin and her 2yo DS when I visit:

Mum:Who's this?
Child: Poo
Mum: No say Proud
Child: Poo
Mum: Proud!
Child: Poo!
Mum: Say hello nicely
Child: Hello nicely

Ds2 this afternoon was in complete meltdown. He went to his room to calm down. After a few minutes he came back out still sobbing his heart out.

Ds2: Mummy I need some help with this crying. It just won't go away on its own.

My 4 year old DD with her aunty.
Aunty : What are you going to be when you're older LittleSlipper?
DD : Five!

DD to shopkeeper : my mummy's got a baby in her tummy.
Shopkeeper : really? That's nice.
DD : Yeah, and her brains run out of batteries
Me :

My 3 year old DD to her 4 months old brother yesterday: If you want your toys back, say PLEASE, don't say AGHU!!!

Overheard in shopping centre toilet cubicle "Mummy, why do you have a beard on your bottom?"

A rather large (enormous) lady was at the bus stop with me and dd1 (4) recently. I'm a large lady (size 20, this lady was at the very least a size 30)

Dd: oh look she's a big fat mummy
Me: shhh dd that's rude
Dd: but she is mummy look she's got a big fat tummy
Me: dd please be quiet now it's not nice to speak about other people
Dd: but mummy look she's really big. Why is she so big?

I spent the next few minutes blushing whilst trying to mutter an apology to the lady at the bus stop who looked mortified and a bit upset.

I took dd1 away and gave her a talking to about being quiet at bus stops.

It wasn't funny, more upsetting than anything but by god can that girl embarrass me.

mine was to my ds who is seven

me; your eldest sister(22) is having a baby
ds;lovely well done sis
me;that means you will be an uncle
ds;mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ddddddddddddddooooooooooooo nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooootttttttttttttttttttttt want to be an uncle
me;but why
ds;i just dont

parenting manuals do not prepare you for this do they

My DDs were experimenting with b sounds this summer.
First, DD1 (4) called DD2 (2) a "bummer".
Next, it morphed into "bummun" as the taunt of the hour. My youngest would protest "I NOT a bummun!" DD1 wouldn't say what one of these was though drew it once and it looked like the big hairy insect off the Lingo Show.
Anyway, it gets better/worse. One particular day DD2 called DD1 a "bellend" as I was paying at the Co-Op checkout counter. Mortified.

None of these words have they heard from us. Pure innovation! proud

Eek just read that back... Can I just clarify, I'm proud that they're experimenting with sounds and words. Hopefully they'll really enjoy learning. NOT proud that they came out with sexuality slurs or rude language!

My 7 yr old opened the fridge and said "Can I try some Indian sonic water?" - had me in stitches for a while yesterday and making me now.