My feed

to access all these features

Join the discussion and meet other Mumsnetters on our free online chat forum.


WWYD: awkward meeting vs. supporting Mum?

2 replies

BitOfADilemna · 20/08/2012 09:55

I am making this as vague as possible and have NC as it's extremely sensitive and my Mum would kill me if she thought I'd put this on the Internet but I really don't know what to do for the best.

There's a club in our town that I used to sit on the committee of. People on the committee are well-regarded in the town, it's just one of those things (sort of like a very successful rugby club - a bit of the success rubs off). My Mum also sits on the committee and is the deputy chair. Recently there has been some bad blood between people and a family member of the chair said some very rude and ill-thought-out things about other people (under extreme provocation but they should really have known better). Now the chair feels like they need to resign to support their family member, who is getting verbally slaughtered by people who up until now have been friendly. The underlying issue (that caused the outburst) has also not gone away.

So my Mum wants me to go to the meeting (this week) where the chair is likely to resign - she has been trying to persuade them not to, not least because a) she has had some personal esteem issues and is not very confident and may find it hard to cope with bearing the full brunt of this underlying issue that's causing so much bad feeling [she will become chair until the next AGM] and b) the whole thing is just getting out of hand and before this argument the chair was doing great things for the club but now the issue is tearing the club apart.

I am torn. She wants me there to support her but I don't want to sit there and watch people gloat as someone I respect basically falls on their sword. I also don't want the chair thinking that I'm only there for the spectacle/controversy - I don't attend meetings any more (any member of the club can come and watch, people don't unless it's something controversial like this underlying issue) as I'm too busy and my Mum is the only one who knows the chair is going to resign. If I turn up they will know she has told me as it's takes some personal effort, due to my circumstances, to turn up. It's also otherwise going to be an exceptional dull meeting - no one else will be there from within the club apart from the committee, making me stand out more.

WWYD? I just don't know and I'm so angry that it has come to this. I am also worried for my Mum as I think they may tear her to shreds too (nothing overt, but it's the loss of friendships etc., coupled with nasty emails going around).

OP posts:
BitOfADilemna · 21/08/2012 11:22

Bump... anyone have any ideas please?

OP posts:
glasscompletelybroken · 23/08/2012 15:20

Not enough info to go on but if your Mum can't cope with this type of meeting then the role of Chair is probably not for her anyway. prsumably she doesn;t have to take it on abd could resign too if it was unbearable?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.