neighbour's children

[nickname24]

Hello
I'm not a parent myself, but wondered if anyone had any advice about what I can do to help my neighbours' children.

They are a young couple who already have 3 children under 5. It is a 2-bedroom flat so I assume they also use the living room as a bedroom, in any case it's pretty small. They never seem to leave the flat, as far as I can tell they are indoors 24 hours a day even on hot days, the father goes to the mosque on Fridays but that is all.

The main things that I find distressing are 1. the children are left to cry for long periods while the parents are in another room and 2. the parents SCREAM at the children, things like 'What is your problem??' (to a 3 year old), 'What is wrong with you' 'shut up' and I mean literally screaming at the top of their voices, especially the mother who screams as if she is being mugged or something, they even shout at the youngest who must be less than 1 year old.

I made an anonymous report on the NSPCC website last year. They seemed to leave the house after this for a while and I thought something had happened but it turned out that the landlord was doing some work in the flat- and not only that but this was when they returned with their third baby.

Recently I called social services directly, I still wanted to be anonymous as I am their only next door neighbour so I thought it would be obvious who it was but I did leave my phone number. They said that the case had been closed so I assume they thought there was nothing wrong.

The other day my downstairs neighbour spoke to me and she also said that she was worried as she has been hearing more screaming and shouting.

I don't know if anyone went to visit them last week- does it sound as if social services aren't taking it seriously? What else can I say or do to get some help for them? Is this description of their behaviour enough for them to have a visit?

Any help appreciated.

[LIZS]

Perhaps the local Health Visitor would be a good person to contact (gp surgery should have the number), they could drop round and give them suggestions such as details of the local Surestart Children's Centre, playgroups or Homestart if they do not have the support of a family locally. Unfortunately some families are good at putting on a front of coping and refuse "outside" help but presumably the eldest will be due to start school and that will force them into going out.

[nickname24]

Thanks for the suggestions, I will try them both.
Whenever I see them (if they take a parcel for me or something) they are always so polite, I think they are probably like that to any social services people who come round too, you wouldn't believe they are shouting and swearing in the flat all the time. I tried my best to explain what it was like to social services but I don't know if they understood how bad it is sometimes.

[sancerreity]

They are stressed because they have 3 cvery young children in inadequate housing!! It is not great by any means but Not a police matter
It is terrible advice to phone the police and pretend she thinks an asssault is in progress, the small children are home alone etc.That is wrong and may take the police away from a real case of assault!

[nickname24]

ok I take your point but to be honest it is hard to tell if there is physical abuse going on as I can't see what is happening and the children are often screaming as well

[sancerreity]

Perhaps it would be possible to befriend her a bit? It sounds as though she must be very isolated if she isn't leaving the flat much.

[nickname24]

That sounds like a nice idea but they usually don't answer the door...

[thegoatswife]

If you could befriend her, maybe you could offer to take one or two for a little walk to the park or something, so she can have a break? Maybe she is very overwhelmed and unsupported?

[InkyBinky]

This is very sad. I would keep reporting to SS or the police. It would be hard for anyone to live in such a small flat with threeDC's but it is not right to scream at the DC's.
Good luck.