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Original poster

i know something i shouldn't, it's MN's fault

45 replies

PrunellaDeVille · 02/08/2012 12:54

So when my best mate introduced me to MN when i was trying to conceive she let me read MN on her iphone and i noticed her rather charming username without realising what it was at the time.

i've never mentioned that i know it, she said she'd stopped using MN ages ago so it never occurred it would be an issue.

currently i'm pg, bored and checking into my antenatal group i notice there are lots of new groups since i was a newbie on there so i looked to see if i recognised any conception thread buddies AND THERE WAS MY BEST MATE Grin!!!! looks like she's 2 months gone.

i REALLY want to call and chat and congratulate but then i have to admit i know her MN persona

WWYD???

if i don't admit to knowledge i have to keep my knowledge a secret from her forever Confused

OP posts:
bagelmonkey · 02/08/2012 12:58

What happens on mumsnet stays on mumsnet?

Passmethecrisps · 02/08/2012 13:01

Keep it a secret! It would make my head explode but I would need to keep it a secret. I, however, might admit after the announcement that I knew. You haven't done anything wrong so no harm.

Original poster
PrunellaDeVille · 02/08/2012 13:12

i can keep the secret from the world at large but how can i talk to her without landing myself in it, it could be weeks before she's ready to tell people.
can't i just admit to her........ please?

OP posts:

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Families
MoaningMingeWhingesAgain · 02/08/2012 13:13

Send her a PM?

Then you can NC afterwards Grin

bagelmonkey · 02/08/2012 13:22

But then she'll name change too, so it will be the last interesting secret you discover. Which could be a good thing.

Passmethecrisps · 02/08/2012 13:26

I would do my best not to tell but if I saw her fav to face I would find it very hard. Can you wait to see how you feel when you next actually see her?

I love keeping secrets - it makes me feel all superior and awesome. if you admit that you knew after she tells you she might think you are a stalker champion secret-keeper

Original poster
PrunellaDeVille · 02/08/2012 13:27

Shock bagelmonkey i'd really rather not know her secrets unless she wants to divulge. really, imagine how awkward would that be knowing too much, i'd have to watch everything i said to her for ever more!

OP posts:
QuenelleOJersey2012 · 02/08/2012 13:28

Leave it. If she wanted you to know now she would have told you herself.

Passmethecrisps · 02/08/2012 13:28

I like the pm with an admission then a promise of a name change for both of you. Mind you, I am on an ante-natal group and I wouldn't like them not to know who I am. Have thought about name-changing anyway (dreadful over sharer) but I will just live with it.

Keep schtoom!

mumnosGOLDisbest · 02/08/2012 13:29

Why not just say 'are you ok? You look a bit peaky, youre not pg are you?'

WanderingOkapi · 02/08/2012 13:32

Def pm her then u can both decide what to do re name change. Mn only really works with its honesty and openness due to the anonymity. How would u feel if it was other way round!

Bubbless · 02/08/2012 16:00

personally because im nosey i wouldnt tell her that i knew it was her, and when i next see her spend a lot of time looking interestingly at her and then declare you think she might be preg and she should be checked out ;)

Jellykat · 02/08/2012 16:53

Agree with Quenelle, when she wants you to know, she'll tell you in RL

CouldItBeTrue · 02/08/2012 16:59
Clarella · 02/08/2012 17:17

Lol I'm definitely name changing now, prob outed myself far too many times in my rants so far (plus I've told everyone to read the fifty shades of mn thread in rl)

Depends on your relationship and possibly what's going on on that thread ie is all ok for her etc. I feel shit I've not told my childhood friend I'm seeing at the wkend at 23 wks but I never quite got to it before had a rather rough ride resulting in what seems to be a kind of depression and I've barely spoken to any friends who don't live near me. If she saw this And texted me i think id be relieved but then id tell her anything I've written here.

You could say "remember when I read your phone.... and I happened to see... I'm so pleased for you!" But you know her and your relationship try and reverse how it feels?

However would be a tad embarrassing if someone else has adopted her name cos she deleted account....

Clarella · 02/08/2012 17:18

Sorry not much help on reflection!

wildkat · 02/08/2012 17:26

But if you do nothing and say nothing, what fireworks are you storing up for when she finds this thread a few months down the line?

utopian99 · 02/08/2012 17:41

ooohh.. when I was getting married two years ago I posted a few times on a wedding related forum and then a friend of mine found one of the posts last year (not sure why she was looking up marriage - think it was because she was bridesmaiding for a mutual friend)

she told me about it and said she knew it must be me because of my username (which i've still not changed) but it did make me feel a bit odd knowing that she could then have gone and looked up any of my other posts, even though i've not said anything dreadful - or at least that I thought was dreadful.

I must admit in your position I'd not tell her, just because if she's only 2 months she might not want to tell people who know her just in case. I didn't even tell my mum in that 12 week period.

tiddleypompom · 03/08/2012 09:47

Hmm, tricky. I would have gone with quenelle on this - but then I'm clearly a superior secret-keeper :o

I am not yet ready to share news outside of the cosy 'anonymity' of MN - due primarily to it being pre-12 wk scan but also as I prefer to announce face to face (to important people such as best mate).

You are therefore banned from congratulating/discussing/sharing/spotting that we'll have children in the same school year. I know that's a right total pita given you are pg and bored, but it serves you right for snooping.

I would rather not name change so will have to trust that any information I divulge henceforth (or indeed thus far) is kept off FB/out of circulation, especially if it refers to my piles from first birth.

By the way, db & dsil do not know (well, unless they too have spotted my alias spouting nonsense on the interweb) and are coming this w/end to visit. If you get a 'don't tell her I told you but' call from SIL you are bound to tell me :o

Now go and find something useful to do. Knitting perhaps? The scan is on 16/08 and i shall officially be telling you first then, if all is good.

Your nn suits you, by the way.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 03/08/2012 09:59

Tiddleypompom you are a lovely lady indeed Grin congratulations!

Original poster
PrunellaDeVille · 03/08/2012 12:01

aha, tiddley (Thanks), thought it best to out myself in return, it's only fair.

i shall sit on my hands for weeks to come and be penitent and ignorant until you are ready.

lashings of love Grin and congratulations Wink

OP posts:
nearlythereyet · 03/08/2012 12:07

Aww tiddley and prunella just made me feel all warm and fizzy inside. Good on the pair on you. And all the best with your pregnancies. Grin

QuenelleOJersey2012 · 03/08/2012 12:14

Ah, bless you both. And congratulations on your pregnancies Thanks

weblette · 03/08/2012 12:17

Grin What a lovely thread - congrats to both of you!

mumnosGOLDisbest · 03/08/2012 12:19

Ah thats lovely :)
i'm now gigglng at 2 grown women using mn names in RL:
"hi tiddly"
"hows it going prunella?..."
Grin