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Original poster

Advice- really embarrassed

17 replies

VanessaChin28 · 01/08/2012 16:17

I've changed my ID on MN for reasons that'll be obvious when you read on....

I went out clubbing with some friends on Saturday night and we ended up at a Dancehall club where we all took part in a 'Bruk it Down' contest basically involving gyrating very provocatively. So we did the heats and I got called back to the stage for the final and won second place (nice little £100 for me!)

So far, so fine.

On Sunday morning, I went to my parents for a roast and they were furios with me. I hadn't realised that my DB was in the club and was so shocked to see me popping it out on the stage that he'd filmed it. And that's kind of fine.

But then, I get informed that he's shown this video to my parents on Sunday morning for some unknown reason.

So I went there on Sunday and they had a massive go at me saying I'd shamed myself etc etc. My reaction was to say that I'm a 28 year old woman and if I choose to behave in such a way when I'm out with my friends on Saturday nights then that's my business and no-one elses. They don't really see this and just keep focusing on how I've "shamed myself".

Sunday lunch was awkward as its comes and they've been really weird with me since but I'm not going to apologise because I don't think I've done anything wrong.

What would other people do? Should I just swallow my pride and apologise to make them happy? Or stick to my guns?

Should add that I've completely cut my brother off for the time being until I calm down and/or things get resolved. What a snitch.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 01/08/2012 16:22

wtf? your brother filmed it??? and then showed your parents???

why would a grown man do that?

i would stand your ground. you were having fun, you won some money, you're a grown-up and you're allowed to do it. You haven't shamed yourself at all.

Let them stew, they'll get over it.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 01/08/2012 16:25

Do not apologise IMO. You have every right to dance like a crazy if you want.

I would be furious at my brother if he did this. I have cut mine out for much less.

I understand that perhaps this wasnt the done thing in your parents time, but they really have no right to make you feel this bad. You were not hurting anyone. You were enjoying yourself.

Original poster

VanessaChin28 · 01/08/2012 16:26

Why would a grown man do this? You're assuming my brother has the mental capacity of a grown man. He is, in fact, 26 but acts like he's 16.

I have no idea why he filmed it. When I asked him he just shrugged and said 'thought it'd be funny' and I think he showed my parents because he loves stirring up trouble and he knew they'd be pissed off.

OP posts:

Tee2072 · 01/08/2012 16:27

Your brother should apologise for being a wanker!

HippoPottyMouth · 01/08/2012 16:29

I wouldn't apologise, no, it doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong.
Your brother sounds highly annoying though, don't blame you for cutting him out for a good while.

PooPooInMyToes · 01/08/2012 16:30

What a shitbag!

Original poster

VanessaChin28 · 01/08/2012 16:33

wannabedomesticgoddess, I think that's the crux of it really.

My mum and dad are very stiff-upper-lip people. They met at church in the 1970s after my dad has just moved over here from Trinidad. He was keen to assimilate into British culture and so became a proper Victorian gentleman, whilst my mum was brought up in a very Christian household.

My suspicion is that my mum and dad (dad especially) don't like me and my siblings being culturally black or drawing attention to the fact that we're not terribly proper middle class white Victorians!

I really want to stand my ground but I just feel so sorry for my mum who has to put up with a lot from my dad (who's a miserable git) and my two brothers (one who's like an over-grown teenager and one who's mixed up in all sorts of shady 'business'). I feel like I've really let her down but then I'm even more pissed off with myself for feeling like that!!

OP posts:

PooPooInMyToes · 01/08/2012 16:35

Im impressed you had the guts to do that on stage!

I know its not really the same, but my parents received a malicious phone call saying that i had been having group sex, one up the bum etc. It want true but my god the looks on their faces when i walked in! I was so embarrassed and i hadn't even done it.

I think any mixture of parents and sexual behaviour is embarrassing, at least it is for me.

jumpingjackhash · 01/08/2012 16:36

Don't apologise! You're an adult and can make your own decisions.

Your brother otoh needs to grow up and he owes you an apology. What a tit.

PooPooInMyToes · 01/08/2012 16:36

Don't feel bad op. You didn't nothing wrong and its not your fault that your mum is married to a misery.

solidgoldbrass · 01/08/2012 16:38

Your brother is being an arsehole and you have nothing to apologise for. Your parents will get over it - just say that you are sorry they are upset but you have done nothing shameful, you'll agree to differ on the subject and move on.

(BTW my parents had to deal with a DD who appeared stark naked on national television; they got over it in the end)...

WigGold · 01/08/2012 16:38

Your brother is a bell end for doing that but I must admit to not liking that type of dancing personally, but then I am a bit of a prude.

Mama1980 · 01/08/2012 16:39

I wouldn't apologise at all. What a annoying brother-mine has Seen me in several situations but keeps his mouth shut. It's nothing to do with anyone else not him and certainly not your parents can't for the life of me figure why he would do this?!

Original poster

VanessaChin28 · 01/08/2012 16:41

PooPooInMyToes Yes! Sexual behaviour and parents do not mix! Especially my parents... I have no idea how they even manage to conceive to be honest.

They're so different from my dad's parents who are absolutely nuts. My paternal grandad is always making massively inappropriate jokes and remarks and my paternal grandmother never misses a chance to strut her stuff on the dance floor.

I think the best option is to just let it blow over and stand my ground. I was just after some confirmation that this was the right thing to do and I wasn't missing something.

As for my younger brother, I might get my older brother to 'have a word' .

OP posts:

PooPooInMyToes · 01/08/2012 16:49

Sgb. Were you a streaker?

axure · 01/08/2012 17:06

You were only dancing, albeit provocatively, where's the harm in that? Your DB probably jealous you won £100.

solidgoldbrass · 01/08/2012 18:36

Yes it does sound more like sibling nastiness than anything else - 'Muuuuum! Daaaaaaad! VanessaChin's been naughty but I'm such a Good Boy!' Can you take appropriate revenge on your brother, like posting embarrassing pics of him on Facebook?

(Poopoo - No, was on a discussion programme about nudity and body image about 20 years ago. It is not on Youtube, or Iplayer, or anything. I have checked...)

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