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Guardians for our DC if we die

4 replies

LaTristesse · 01/08/2012 10:05

We're trying to get our house in order with this kind of stuff, but are a bit stuck with this...

My parents are getting on a bit but would be ideal otherwise.
DHs Mum can be a bit mad and manipulative, DH doesn't like the thought of them going to her based on his childhood (teenage years mainly).
My brother can be, shall we say, a little outside of the law, nothing major, but obv not an ideal example! Although he is getting better as he's now settled down with his fiancee. They are talking about children...
DHs brother is a social misfit and although financially sorted would be dreadful IMO.
Neither of us have close friends we could ask, although I do have a couple of lovely newish friends, who would be fab, but it's a big ask isn't it.

My DC are tiny still so this is important, but I don't know what to do for the best...

Any ideas? Thoughts?

Thanks Smile

OP posts:
SarkyWench · 01/08/2012 10:09

My solution was to nominate my parents as guardians, but make it clear that what i was doing was to trust them to make the best decision at the time for our kids on the basis of the health etc of everyong involved. In other words if they were not in a position to look after two small boys then they would consult with all relatives/godparents and make the best decision. I reckon that you can't know in advance exactly what people's attitudes, health and general life situations will be, so the best you can do is to give the power to make decisions to someone that you completely trust to have your kids best interests at heart.

SarkyWench · 01/08/2012 10:09

and remember that these decisions are not final.
you can easily change what you have stated if the health etc of the people changes.

Aworryingtrend · 02/08/2012 11:21

I am pregnant with DC1and we have just organised wills and guardianship last week. My parents are 63 but in good health so we have chosen them as guardians, but with a view to reviewing this if their health was to deteriorate.

When you say your parents are getting on a bit do you just mean in years or are they in poor health? If your parents are in ok health I would nominate them, but then possibly change this to your brother in a few years when they are older and hopefully he will have settled down.

LaTristesse · 02/08/2012 16:40

Thanks for the replies. Yes my parents are just old - early 70s, so really only have another 5 years or so before it would be beyond them physically to look after too small children. Their health is good atm though...

DH came up with the idea of putting his uncle down which actually is a really good idea, sound character etc, but that would cause no end of ructions with my MiL. I assume you gave to ask the person before you put them down? If it got back to MiL we'd chosen her brother over her TK look after her grandchildren she'd hit the roof! Any ideas how to handle this?!

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