anonymous letter from neighbours

[readinginbed]

Just received a horrible anonymous letter through my door, saying only it's from the people who live on my road and the next road whose gardens border ours. It says that our child screams daily from 7am til night, and that they have put up with it for months but now want something done about it. They say they are worried that the child is being abused, and that they are being disturbed. My problem is that the child they are describing is the sweet but troubled 8 year old next door, who is seeing a psychologist about her problems. I am outraged by the cowardly behaviour in sending an anonymous letter and I want to defend myself and say that this is not our child, but I also want to protect next door from getting this kind of nastiness. I don't know who sent the letter, but we are friends with both sets of next-door neighbours and other people on the street, none of whom has mentioned anything to us about this. Can anyone advise me on what I can do? thanks

Is it threatening? I would call the police on the non-emergency number. I'm glad you got it and not the intended people (sorry).

I would take a photocopy of the letter and go round to the neighbours ( not the one with the 8yr old child) and ask if they know who sent it.

If anyone says 'it was me' inform them they have the wrong house and are cowards.

I don't think there is much you can do. It's obviously not come from someone who knows you well, which of the folk in the neighbouring street moved in most recently?

It's not threatening, more sanctimonious, "in this area, we do try to respect each others right to peacable enjoyment of our homes" and says please consider going to a child psychologist. It's mostly upsetting because the letter implies it is two streets ganging up against one family.

I really want to go round each house til I can talk openly to the people concerned. Would this be foolish, as i dont' want to start a fight.

The indignant "how very DARE you" in me would make copies of the letter and post them to each house involved with a cover note that eloquently describes how cowardly and inappropriate this letter and it's author are.

The only problem with going door-to-door or copying the letter to publicly shame the authors is that you then drag the intended recipients into it and perhaps make people (who otherwise would not have known) aware of their private business.

I'd either go door to door with the original (if everyone already knows the family's circs) or post a reply to all the houses, as has been suggested above, stating that you won't include the original to protect the privacy of the family involved.

Totally understand your urge to canvas the neighbourhood, but don't think it would really help. If you publically unmask the letter-writer it'll still be two streets against one family, just a different (and unplesasant) one.

Have a rant and a rage here, then put the letter aside and ignore it.

Wow. I think you could narrow it down to one or two houses though. It's somebody near enough to hear the screaming but far enough away to confuse the actual house. Maybe somebody who backs on to you. I think I would go and knock on the door of maybe two or three houses. The one who blushes, that'll be the perp.

Oldlady, I admire your wisdom and restraint. Are you perhaps a buddhist monk? I'm going to try and not do anything about it, I think you're right, it will only spread the pain around.
I'll just inwardly seethe. GRrrrrrrr

Can you speak to the neighbours that have the 8 year old gently and warn them that something is brewing?

It would be better for them to be told by you that something is going on rather than them getting a shock when something comes through the door. I assume when whoever sent it realises that they got the wrong house they will send it to the right house.

Hmm, I think you are right not to do anything that could upset or drag in the other family, but on the other hand if you just ignore it I would be worried about the letter-writer escalating things - any further harrassment, or what if they called SS for example? Especially given the mistaken identity thing - if they reported (wrongly) that your child was screaming that could be hard for you to explain. So I would consider contacting the police non-emergency number, so at least it is logged.

It does sound more likely to be one of the backing-on people rather than a direct neighbour, as the neighbours would presumably know who lives where... I doubt it is really from more than one household though, probably just one bitter person trying to make it sound as though there is wider support for their complaints.

at Buddhist monk!

If they call SS and SS attend, SS will soon realise the truth and go away again. The child screaming is already receiving the help she needs, there's nothing to see here.

Do feel for you though, reading, it's a nasty thing to receive. and while you seeth.

Damn, I know it's !

What a spiteful thing to do.

"It's mostly upsetting because the letter implies it is two streets ganging up against one family."
I could be wrong, but I really don't think it is. I know the letter says it is "from the people who live on my road and the next road whose gardens border ours"
but it really can't be, can it? Because if it was from the people on your street, they'd know which door to put it through. I would think it is most likely from one person only, whose garden backs on to your or the home of the 8-year-old. They may have tutted over the garden fence to their next door neighbours about noise, and that has emboldened them to claim it is from many people. But if it was from many people, they would have felt that strength-in-numbers and signed the damned thing, a bit like a petition. But instead, it is anonymous and posted through the wrong door; so I'd reckon it is from one person only, abutting your or the 8-year-old's garden.

What a nasty piece of work. We had a bonkers neighbour once, who wrote to everyone on our street and the neighbouring 2 streets accusing our other neighbours of various things, including having a 'specially constructed rat-feeding table' in her garden (it was a bird table, obviously). She was mortified, but everyone knew it was just a silly bastard with too much time on his hands.

Write them a very polite letter back back explaining that the screaming they heard was the sound of you murdering some people who tried to interfere in your business.

Lol @ Whatinthewhat....! I am starting to feel a lot better venting it on here, makes me feel less isolated. Think I will gently approach next door about it to warn them. The stupid thing is, the people who concerned will have no way of getting the explanation (that the screaming is due to a troubled child who is already being seen by a psychologist) because they didn't sign it!
Thanks for the wine Oldlady. Downed in one. :)

Might be worth a chat with the police on the non-emergency number. They'll be able to advise.

*just one back. not back back.

Oh, what an awful position to be in, I would have had an immediate nervous breakdown, and you are so kind to worrry about your neighbour more than yourself. Good luck in your decision

ok, so i wouldnt canvass the neighbours or copy it and post it back - but i would talk openly among the neighbours about it - and i would make it very clear that the letter is first and foremost cowardly and nasty and secondly they got the wrong bloody house.....

some people really have nothing better to do.

I would just ignore it. As upsetting as it is, I do not see what else you could do, as knocking everyone's door does not sound reasonable to me. If there are more letters, then l would mention it to the police.

must start reading dates