Ex husband won't communicate regarding child matters

[Sueabc123]

I divorced my husband 5 years ago and since then he has been abusive in a verbal manner and uncooperative. He is obstanate and refuses to talk to me face to face, everything has to be done via email or text. However he is demanding and unflexible and extremely rude. He has access to the children via a court order but refuses to pay maintenance, even though the CSA have taken him to court once already. The manner in which he communicates with me is very upsetting and although I let most of it wash over me after 5 years it has got too much. He accuses me of all sorts (ie. making the children wear unclean clothes, stealing from him, not being a decent mother). His headspace is in a dangerous place and all our mutual friends and neighbours don't recognise him. He has made enemies of most of them as he has been abusive or threatening to them also. He now communicates via his solicitor although he has not told her the truth (just his warped version) of matters. I cannot afford to go via my solicitor to get him to cooperate as an adult and a responsible parent over the smallest things like drop off dates. The last time I tried to talk to him face to face he involved his partner and she shoved me and therefore I do not want to try that again. Can anybody suggest a way in which I can either use a free mediation service or is it viable to get some authority involved?

If he has a solicitor, can you communicate with them directly? Mediation might allow you to set up a method of communication, but you won't be able to attend for every decision which needs to be made. What does your solicitor suggest?

Thank you ZillionChocolate for your response. Have seen my solicitor on a 30 min free basis. She has said the children 14 and 9 are old enough in a judge's eyes to be able to organise extra visits extra. She suggests I communicate via his solicitor which I am doing and if he contacts me and harrasses me again I can report him to the police under the Protection of Harassment Act 1997. Sooner rather than later I should cut communication channels for him off. Block him from my phone and email. This is acceptable even though we have a court order over visitation. It just means that more forward planning will have done and the children must ensure they check their phones more often and unfortunately puts more onus on their involvement. My solicitor has said that 5 years of mental abuse is enough to put up with. My ex is also being reported and more than likely being arrested for animal cruelty, intimitation and malicious damage to his next door neighbours and their property. Bearing this in mind I have been told that his mental state could be in question and this could be brought to court at a later date; although this would be costly, long drawn out and involve the children, the latter of which I would not want. Just have to see how it goes.