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15 year old boy

12 replies

JoniM · 25/07/2012 18:37

My first time on this site and maybe, looking at other posts, my child is a little bit older than the rest but would appreciate advice. Summer holidays upon us and my 15 year old is spending all his time in his room, on his own, on his computer. I try to reduce this time by getting him to help with shopping, cook or watch a film together. He's a great kid doing well at school, compliant, and happy go lucky so I shouldn't complain but I can't help but feel he should be getting out more.
He has lots of friends at school but apart from the occasional friend round he does very little. He once said his social life was rubbish but when I tell him to invite someone over or organise something, somehow it never comes to anything. Gone are the days when I could scoop him and a couple of friends up and take them off to the park. Is there anything anyone could suggest? I suggested he get a summer Saturday job just to get him out but he said he wasn't materialistic enough to want the money and felt he should be concentrating on his studies (he has an answer for everything). Suggestions appreciated please.

OP posts:
LadySybildeChocolate · 25/07/2012 18:40

Games workshop is a haven for boys/men. What about some voluntary work? He could use the experience on his CV for when he goes to uni/looks for a job.

Odmedod · 25/07/2012 20:48

Why does he have to get out more? My mum kept on at me about it when I was his age, and I hated it- I wanted to be at home, reading, on the computer, whatever.

As long as he's happy, does it really matter?

DontEatTheVolesKids · 25/07/2012 20:51

Let him be, don't rock the boat. If you can think of something fun you could do together then go for it (go for a meal & see a flick?)

buggyRunner · 25/07/2012 21:04

I think job/ sport is your way forward. He needs to start taking responsibility and these will help him

motherinferior · 25/07/2012 21:06

He sounds a bit normal to me, really. Isn't the whole point of being 15 that you loaf around pointlessly and feel that nobody understands you?

orangeandlemons · 25/07/2012 21:09

Remember that a lot of socialising takes place online now.

My ds was like this, and I looked at it that atleast I knew where he was allthe time. I think it can be normal for some teenage boys.

He is now completely lovely, normal 18 year old

slambang · 25/07/2012 21:18

Normal but frustrating. I agree that working / volunteerig is a great idea but actually it's almost impossible for a 15 year old. Most charity shops wont take you til you're 16 and a paid job is well nigh impossible bar paper rounds or odd jobs for family.
One chore a day (mowing lawn, making tea, ironing a load of washing) is fair work in return for treats such as pocket money.

tb · 07/08/2012 20:12

DD is 14, nearly 15 and one of the youngest in her year. Last summer she spent all the holiday in her room, glued to her bb/school laptop.

She broke up at the end of June, and tonight is her first night in the house in I don't know how long. A lot can change in a year.

BellaVita · 07/08/2012 20:17

Sounds just like my 15yr old DS.

As long as mine is happy then so am I. At least I know where he is unlike my 12yr old DS Hmm

BackforGood · 07/08/2012 20:20

If you want to join some of us who parent teens, there is a 'Teens' section which quite a few of us loiter in, for another occasion Smile

If that is all he does, for the whole holiday, then I think it wouldn't be unreasonable to disconnect the internet between certain hours - it works for us if I ever really want to wind up my ds, but, to some extent, I think being 14 is just the time for loafing around doing nothing for hours on end. It's certainly a common theme amongst 14 yr olds.

SandStorm · 07/08/2012 20:23

If he's happy I would leave him be. At least you know where he is. If he's spending all his time on the computer though you might want to do a casual check on what he's actually up to on there - but not make a big deal of it.

CuttedUpPear · 07/08/2012 20:39

My 15yr old DS is the same. I spend all my time trying to lure him off the laptop, but when I do, he wants me to entertain him.
He doesn't have any friends and if it wasn't for his dog he'd never leave the house.

I'm not saying I'm happy with this btw.

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