Neighbur's wife may be ill. Or it may be mistaken identity...

[patosullivan]

Today DH was in the hospital. While there, he bumped into someone who may or may not have been our neighbour Charlie.

'Charlie' told DH that his wife had had a stroke and was very ill. But, here's the issue - DH said that he wasn't sure that the man he was speaking to was our neighbour Charlie, because the encounter was 'out of context'.

We haven't seen Mrs Charlie around in the last week - normally I see Mrs Charlie going in and out the house with their grandson, who they look after while their daughter's at work - but it is holiday season so their daughter may be off on holiday with her family.

So, the problem is:

a) if DH really was talking to Charlie, and we ignore the situation, it's rather callous and rude of us to say the very least, given that we are on friendly terms with Mr & Mrs Charlie.

b) if 'Charlie' was in fact some random stranger and we post get well soon cards through the letterbox, Mr & Mrs Charlie will think we've gone crazy at best

So I'm not sure what to do. Find plausible excuses to doorstep the other neighbours and see if I can ask questions about Mrs Charlie without being too obvious?

(and tell DH to pay more attention to what our neighbours look like!!)

Hang around outside until the neighbour goes in/out and pass the time of day?

Good thing it's summer!

oh heck, I think I would find a plausable reason to ask if they are ok.

Be honest with them? along the lines of I just wanted to check you are ok becasue DH .....

But why would a fake-Charlie have stopped your DH in the hospital and told him about the stroke? Presumably Chas told all because he recognised your DH as his neighbour? Or was there some other scenario in which Chas would have told your DH about it regardless of you being neighbours, IYSWIM.

Yes, I'd be semi honest. Knock and ask- if you feel daft admitting he's not sure it was them, just say he mentioned something. But you think he 'may have the wrong end of the stick'.
If the lady has had a stroke, Charlie's mind will be too pre-occupied to care about your confusion, he'll just be glad of the support.
If she hasn't, then no harm done. Just say it was a rumour, and it must be that other Charlie you know from work/bingo/your old neighbourhood.

Could you rely on Charlie knowing what his neighbour looked like, given he engaged your DH in conversation? Presumably he wouldn't do that with just any old person... unless perhaps it was friendly banter in a waiting room or something. But the subject was pretty personal for that, so it seems unlikely to me.

I'd just drop round personally and just say you called to say hello and make sure they were OK.

Charlie knows DH, they've chatted outside the house before. And 'Charlie' in the hospital obviously knew DH - there was no reason for him to be talking to DH otherwise.

DH knows quite a lot of men about Charlie's age (late 60's) for one reason and another, and that combined with DH's uncertainty makes me a bit nervous about talking to the wrong one.

But I think you're all right - I'll go round and ask after Mrs Charlie and just risk looking silly. Hopefully they won't take offence if DH was speaking to a different Charlie!

Buy a cake or something that goes out of date in a couple of days. Take it round, find out what's heppening. If his wife is ill tell them you're thinking of them and the cake is for him/or his wife in hospital. If wife is there and obviously well tell them it was a BOGOF offer and you can't eat both cakes so would they liek a free cake?

Just to update - it was Charlie that DH spoke to at the hospital.

Mrs Charlie is still in hospital, but they're hopeful that she'll be well enough to be discharged next week.

Poor Mrs Charlie. Can you make charlie a meal? He'll need to keep his strength up.