Am I PFB about my nine year old playing on the street?

[MIssMatchingSocks]

Hi. This is a bit of a survey as much as a WWYD. My ds1 has a friend who lives in the next road to us. Her mum and I have mentioned that it won't be long until they're just popping back and forth to one another's houses. In fact they have walked between houses and I'm fine with that. ds1 is sensible about crossing roads etc. (He is nine for pity's sake ) The thing I'm a bit by is that I'm really not sure if I'm happy for him to be hanging around playing on the roads between our houses. Which is what the mum wants them to do rather than be at hers. It is as much about considering the people who live in the houses around (Lots of older people-not suggesting older people don't like kids but they're not at that life stage at moment and kids don't usually play out on our street IYKWIM so they don't currently have to consider that when pulling off their drives)

The reason I'm raising it at all is because there is a bit of a back story. The girl's mum was using me as free child care until I put my foot down a bit and said I was busy a few times. It had gone from helping out a couple of times on work days to being told her dd was coming round on work days (not even asked!!!) to her wanting me to take her at weekends because she fancied being at home without kids there. I worry that the hanging around is just going to lead to me having her all weekends again but without the option of saying I'm not happy with it.

I've gone off on a tangent. My question is what age did your kids start playing out on the street and popping in and out of houses? (I know actual set up of houses/ streets differ from a safety point of view) Part of me thinks I am being pfb. Part of me thinks I'm considering my neighbours and the safety of the kids.

We live in a (big) village not a main road btw.

Well my DS is only 11mo so I can't say from that pov but I'm only 24 and my brothers are younger and we played on our street from about 8. There were lots of other children around our area though as well as elderly people. We'd only really play on our part of the street during term time but in the holidays we were allowed around the block to play and my DM just made us wear a watch and asked us to pop back by a certain time (e.g. every 30 mins). Obviously we didn't have mobiles like a lot of young children do now but I believe giving us a bit of freedom made us more responsible. Not sure what to say regarding your friend but if you trust your DS I'd say go with your gut. HTH

Thanks. I do trust ds but I like the idea of checking back in regularly.

DS1 started playing out in our street, only a certain part of it from 6 years old. We live in a very small rural village and nowhere near the main road.

He did have to check in often with me though.

He is now almost 9 and is allowed out for a couple of hours at a time without checking back.

It really does depend on the area you live and how safe it is.

My eldest is 8 and is just starting to venture beyond sight to neighbouring streets and friends' houses. DC2 is 6 and is allowed to go as long as with dc1. We live in a pretty safe area and probably because of the expanse of front garden where they've learned to ride bikes etc they've stayed within that boundary longer than others. I do now insist that dc1 wears a watch as they have no sense of time and usually if they go inside each others houses, a parent will text to say they are there.

But I think I am amongst the pfb-ish gang. He has a friend, 4th in a family of 6 children, who has been riding his bike on roads since 5/6 years old and seems to be much more street savvy than mine. However, I did meet his friend on his bike on the wrong side of the road heading straight for my car. Fortunately I wasn't going fast! My parents used to let me roam free in London age 5 or 6 but I can't be that relaxed about it.

Olympic, that's interesting about younger child as I also have a ds2 who's 5. Both kids have always been close and play together. I think this might be a thing that I let ds1 do and not ds2 (for the time being). In fact i think this is the reason I'm even pondering. My friend thinks we should just let all our kids (She also has a dd of (just) 5) play out but I'm not sure that the combination of these particular kids is safe. In fact my ds1 would end up responsible for all four of them because of "dreamy" nature of other three kids! That, in my situation, is not fair on him. Although it's not fair to keep him in because his brother isn't ready yet either!

Guess I'd better find those scissors for apron string cutting!

It helps that dc2 is shy but quite sensible; I wouldn't have let her at just 5 but am just allowing her at just 6, as I feel she has grown up quite a lot in that year. Dc1's friends of the same age enjoy being in charge and so the responsibility of dc2 is shared out a bit, doesn't all rest on dc1's shoulders, but tbf she is a good kid who doesn't need much looking after. But it's not easy being a relaxed parent!